


473. Shedding black and grey to take on red and blue

by SevlinRipley



Series: This is No-Terror Ground [5]
Category: It - All Media Types
Genre: Age Play Mention, Bad Cooking, Canon-Typical Sexual Language, Confronting/Facing Fears, Cuddling & Snuggling, Engagement, Established Relationship, Fluff, Food Sharing, Gentle Kissing, Holding Hands, Lap-sitting, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Napping, Non-Sexual Age Play, Reading Aloud, Romance, Supportive Adult(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-03-28 21:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13912935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SevlinRipley/pseuds/SevlinRipley
Summary: As promised, Richie takes Eddie on a library date.• Tuesday; June 15, 1993





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "[Colours of My Life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9LxuAi-y2E)" by [The Seekers](https://genius.com/The-seekers-colours-of-my-life-lyrics).
> 
> General Fic Updates:  
> • I added a note on inspiration to the piece titled [468](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13768176). I want to apologize for not having thought of doing it at the time of posting. I feel like shit for not doing that earlier than a few days ago.  
> • The index for this series is no longer in the series notes, but [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13876845). Where you can see I have titled each part, hopefully making it easier to differentiate.

When Eddie came into Richie's room, he was in for the shock of his life. He'd _heard_ it on the way upstairs, but had thought surely the noise was coming from somewhere else. But no. There Richie was... glasses nearly tipped off his nose as he bent down to move over a pile of comics along an open shelf of his bed table, in order to reach the sides and corners with an extension. "Are you _vacuuming_?" Eddie asked, astonished.

He barked out a laugh when Richie jumped, then turned around and caught his ankle in the long gray cord, before fumbling to shut the machine off. " _And_ " Richie said, clearly very proud of himself, "I washed and dried this shit," he swept a hand toward his bed, where it was actually made, "Yesterday. All clean!"

Eddie smirked as Richie bounced on the balls of his feet, and made his way out of the bondage of the vacuum cord to step into Eddie's space. He took Eddie's jaw in one hand, and tipped his head down to kiss him. Eddie allowed it, but then went back to reviewing what he'd just walked in on.

There was still the odd clothing item around, Richie's name tag from work on his desk in what looked like a pile of smashed or half-broken marbles, and other homely clutter. But he had to give it to Richie... the floor could be seen from almost every angle of the room, and his bedding did look in place. A 'clean' smell was in the air, probably softener mixed with the breeze coming through the cracked-open window on the other side of the room.

" _Wow_ ," Eddie said, indulging Richie, who still looked absolutely chipper. Eddie leaned up to kiss him again, and then pressed in a little more. Pulled back just enough to say, "Pretty sexy," before pulling Richie's lower lip in, with a gentle bite.

Richie's breath rushed out, hot, at that, as they pulled back. "Bite my lip again, and the library is _going_ to be put on delay. And I know what you're thinking, 'Ha, wouldn't that be funny.' But no. I'm actually pretty stoked right now. The kid's section always had the best books, and I haven't checked any out in _years_."

Studying him, Eddie found himself smiling, despite a crooked-low eyebrow. "I think I find the irony in what you said really offensive." But it was also (kind of) outweighed by how endearing it was that Richie had not only cleaned for him, but also wanted to go to the library to get books for Eddie _and_ himself.

"If it makes you feel any better," Richie said, taking Eddie's chin between thumb and index finger, "You've given me blue-balls about a thousand other times. And," he added, rolling his eyes, "I'm sure many more times in the near future."

Chuckling low under his breath, Eddie nodded. "Yeah, alright. But don't think you can get away with trying to push your trash book tastes on me. It didn't work back then, and it's not gonna work now."

Shaking his head, Richie said, "You're just mad cause you were always too much of a scaredy cat to read anything I read."

"For good reason, as it turns out!" Eddie said, and then immediately the air turned stale. He swallowed harshly. Hadn't meant to bring that up. Ever. As true as it was. Imagine all the horrors that could have come if Eddie _had_ indulged Richie back then...

Richie stiffly turned back toward Eddie, and tilted his head to the side. "Yeah, well. Anyway, I would _never_ try to scare you."

"Rich," Eddie breathed out. His shoulders dropped, and he stepped closer, grabbing Richie's hand. "It was a joke. I swear."

He felt Richie squeeze his hand in acceptance, just before he began leading Eddie down the stairs. Richie swept up his backpack from the little golden hooks by the door, and then slid it over his shoulders in quick, easy movements, before continuing out the house.

The closer to the outside sun they got, the faster Eddie's heart was beating. Richie stopped them on the stoop, however, and turned around, lifting his free hand to the side of Eddie's head. Short nails scratched lightly over Eddie's scalp, brushing hair back needlessly. "Hey," he said low, "Are you still okay with this?"

Eddie blinked, eyes stinging. He wasn't sure. "I think so," he said, giving a short nod.

"No one'll know but me and you. But if you don't want to, we don't have to. I just thought..."

Nodding, Eddie covered Richie's hand, and said, "Yeah. I like it. The idea of it. Just."

"You wanna wait, and just see how you feel when we get there? Or -"

"Um. Okay. Yeah. That might be good," Eddie said, more thinking aloud than anything.

Originally they were going to walk to the library, Eddie 'incognito' as Richie had put it, just a little boy in big boy clothes because grown-ups thought that was cute. And they also thought it was cute when little boys said big boy words, and tried to imitate grown-ups in any way, so it would just be a fun trip to the library, where Eddie could show all the grown-ups how cute he was and how good he was at being like them. Then he could pick out all the books he wanted, take them home, and get story time all afternoon.

Except Eddie's stomach was roiling and his nerves were _aching_ and he was afraid that everyone would see right through him. Somehow. "Richie," Eddie whispered, second-thought pulling the name out of him like scarves out of a clown-magician's mouth.

Richie's hands fell away, but only so he could envelop Eddie in a hug. He pushed them up to the siding of the house, hiding Eddie from the world for that moment.

"We don't have to. But if you want to... No one'll know. I'll tell them my little cousin's coming to town and we're picking up books to entertain the rugrat while she's here. You'll just be my friend who's tagging along to make sure I don't get anything age-inappropriate, or trash-taste. And they don't care anyway, why people are checking out books. They don't care, Eds. And they don't have a right to, either. It's a _public_ library. You and I are the public. They're _our_ books too.

But if you don't want to go, that's okay. It's okay; I can go and pick out ones I think you'll like and I'll come back, and we can have Kool-Aid and I'll make you a grilled cheese sandwich and then I'll read to you and we'll cuddle and -"

The tighter Richie held on to Eddie, the more Eddie felt calm - the more he realized that Richie was ramping up to full-blown word vomit mode all over again. A part of him ached, in a good way, in a guilty way, realizing how strongly Richie felt about protecting him. How much he wanted to deflect all the stupid shit in the world, and just _be_ with him, like it'd make everything better, without question.

Even though the vibe he gave off strongly contradicted that notion. Anxiety propelling his words, rather than surety. It was comforting to know that his anxiety was spurred on by Eddie's own anxieties, rather than the dangers of outside forces. Like he was more afraid of failing at taking care of Eddie, than of Eddie's fears actually coming true.

"Shh, shh..." Eddie said, hugging Richie back. "You're right. They won't care. People aren't supposed to be loud in the library anyway, so it's not like me being quiet will catch any looks. It'll be fun; I haven't seen a lot of those books since I was a kid, either." Actually, he hadn't even seen most of them when he _was_ a kid. His mother only took him to window shop, so that she could order a brand-new germ-free version of the same book. A couple times, anyway. Before she decided she'd seen enough of his taste to decide what books he'd like, on her own.

Richie angled his head back, peering into Eddie's eyes. "You sure?" Eddie nodded, apparently with an acceptable expression on his face. Because Richie gave a short nod back, before he pressed a kiss to the side of Eddie's head, still holding him. "You got your bunny in your backpack?" The brush of Eddie's hair under his jaw said 'yes.' "Did you name them?" Richie asked, a sliver of a smile replacing the line of concern from before.

"D'no," Eddie said quietly, into Richie's shoulder. Muffled.

Richie's heart dropped a couple of inches in his chest. Was - was that... Eddie's voice, _there_?

He knew Eddie tended not to speak once he was fully in that head space. Whether because his age didn't allow for it, or because of something else... Richie suspected it was a mixture of both, but he leaned more toward the idea that Eddie was too embarrassed to use clips of phrases, or dog his words. He'd already had issues at school, from time to time, being made fun of for getting his words confused. Misspeaking. Speaking abnormally. In fact, Richie was probably a part of the problem. He hadn't _made fun of_ Eddie, so much as teased him. But... if Eddie was feeling conflicted about it, Richie could only take some of the blame. Find a way to make him feel safe in it again, someday.

When Eddie used _such_ a meager voice, however, it was usually when he'd stuttered out from behind a wall, snagged by something (someone - okay, Richie) he had to respond to with words. But this seemed smaller in a different way, even.

Making a big deal out of it would probably fuck things up, so Richie didn't say anything. Didn't even flinch.

"Oh," he said, throat tight, "Well, that's okay. Bunnies don't need names, as long as they know who they belong to. If they're yours, they know all they need to." Richie's chest was fluttering slightly, and he knew he was tripping over the surprise in his mind. Wasn't even sure if he was making sense. Not that a two-three-four-year old had any idea what sense and nonsense _was_. He found himself petting at Eddie's head and abruptly stopped.

Weren't they gonna wait till they got there? Fuck, there was still so much Richie didn't understand... Did something in particular lull Eddie to that place? Or had he just changed his mind? Would it be temporary? A mere moment of submission and relenting, that would be banished as soon as they withdrew from the cover of the house?

The pad of his thumb traced Eddie's ear. He breathed out, hot, down Eddie's back, then pulled away. "Need anything else before we go?" He held his breath to see if Eddie would speak again, or if it was gone. If that was all he could muster. If it even was what Richie thought, in the first place. Eddie shook his head. Nodding slowly, Richie said, "Okay," and forced a 'everything is normal and fine' smile onto his face. "Got my hand, Eddie Spaghetti?" Richie asked, clasping Eddie's hand, as they walked down the stone pathway to the connecting sidewalk. Eddie squeezed it, no objection, or roll of his eyes.

Okay, so... definitely Little, then.

They walked quietly down the path, Richie on the outside of the path, by the street. Eddie's backpack bounced along with him as he walked and - Richie knew he was 'undercover' anyway, but Eddie totally deserved a backpack that wasn't some stupid, boring Jansport. He deserved something with some flare. A comic book character, or a teddy bear. Yeah... one of those textured bags, with the fur forming the image. Embroidered nose and eyes. Over pale blue and white striped linen. Something like that. Not that Eddie would ever wear one in public, anyway. In a perfect world, maybe.

Mouth turning down slightly, Richie wanted to roll his eyes at himself. _Baby steps, idiot,_ he told himself.

Then a little white butterfly flew passed them, landing on a tall-standing yellow flower behind a white picket fence, and they both stopped in sync, to admire it. "You're not afraid of bugs, are you?" Richie asked, leaning down, free hand on his knee, holding steadfast to Eddie's hand. He looked at Eddie from the corner of his eye, watching as Eddie's expression changed from uncertainty to, at the very least, a less _worried_ uncertainty. He shrugged. "Well, don't be afraid, okay? Some... Well. Just ask if you get worried. But bugs are really good. They take care of us? We wouldn't have this flower if there weren't any."

Eddie's expression shifted yet again, finding some kind of wonder, or understanding. He held out a finger, and looked between the bug and Richie. Richie smiled wide, pleased - proud, even - that Eddie was curious enough to touch it. And even though Richie wanted to encourage him, he didn't want to give Eddie the wrong idea.

"Well Eds, bugs don't really like being pet or held the way that puppies and kitties do. See, they're busy doing their jobs?" The little butterfly's tongue was curled out, into the center of the flower. "So we look at them from a distance, okay?" Eddie withdrew his finger as if in slow motion, but nothing dark flickered across his face. Finally he nodded.

Before he had his finger fully back in his fist at his side, Richie took his hand from his knee and gently caught it, mid-air. "Kiss?" he asked, raising it to the level of his lips. Eddie gave him a small smile - that oddly judgemental 'you're such a weirdo' smile that kids sometimes got, and then gave one sharp nod. So Richie did. He pressed his lips together, then to the very tip of Eddie's finger. If the bug couldn't give Eddie the affection he deserved, well then Richie sure would. Eddie's shoulders rose up, chest going warm and big as Richie tucked his finger back into place, looked up at him with big eyes from under his glasses, where he was still crouched.

Richie just got caught up for a moment, in the way the sun was shining off of Eddie's hair, bringing out tinges of red, and even a few more golden, sun-bleached strands. He wanted so badly in that moment to pull Eddie close with an arm around his waist, press his face into Eddie's soft belly and just hold him tight. Let Eddie play with the dark curls of his hair while the sun made them toasty warm, and Richie breathed all of it in.

But the butterfly took off then, pumping its little wings up toward the sun. They both turned their sights to watch as it flew off. And they had other things to do, too.


	2. Chapter 2

As they entered the first set of large wooden doors, leading into the main branch of the library, Richie asked, "Excited?" Watched Eddie nod his head, with just a hair of hesitation. He squeezed Eddie's hand in an attempt at reassurance. "Building's pretty cool, huh?" Maybe he could give Eddie something to focus on, at least during the more tense moments before he became comfortable, again, with what they were doing.

Ben was right, after all... If Richie were a geek like Haystack, he'd have found the arches, the wood work, and marble, to be pretty impressive.

He pushed the second set of doors open, and - Richie didn't know if the universe was playing with him, or if she was just a giant bitch, but, "Oh _shit_." Richie pulled up short, Eddie nearly jerked backwards by the abrupt halt. Shoulders tensed up, Richie tried to gently, but quickly pull Eddie back up against the first book case that faced the door.

What a dumb ass! His shoulders fell on an excessive exhale, as he dropped to one knee, fiddling with his laces as if to pretend he had to tie up his shoe. Eddie was looking at him, mouth a thin, bemused line. Eyes narrow.

Speaking of Ben, like, genuinely - he had been right at the central check-out desk, loading books up onto a wheely cart. And for all _Richie_ knew, Mike might've been hanging around somewhere too. "Fucking tunnel vision," he whispered at himself, a swear. He hadn't even given it a moment's thought, as to whether Ben might be on shift, or Mike out enjoying his small bouts of free time.

Sure, no one _else_ in the library would mind a silent Eddie walking around, but his _friends_ would find it odd. And fuck, if he had to watch Eddie be unexpectedly jerked out of what little comfort they'd been able to establish in order for this outing to even happen, Richie was gonna be _pissed_. At himself, and himself alone, obviously. Cause, what a fuck-up.

"Uh, okay," he said, taking Eddie's hand in his palm, again. Smoothing over the top of it with his other hand. Eddie still totally oblivious as to what was happening. He hadn't seen Ben. Good. And... bad. Because the likelihood Eddie would get mad if Richie had the opportunity to warn him, but didn't? Pretty damn good. If he even said the words 'Ben's here' the whole thing would be ruined, though. How could he circumvent - tell Eddie, without sounding an alarm?

"So, Eds... There's something I didn't tell you about today." Richie bit into the side of his lower lip when Eddie immediately began looking around. _No_..., Richie whined, in his head. "Here, here, look at me," he said softly, "It's really important, and it'll be _really_ fun." Probably not. Maybe for a boy Eddie's age, though, if Richie pretended hard enough, Eddie would get the feeling it was, despite himself. That was how that worked, right? Eddie's eyebrows twitched together, but at least he was looking at Richie, for an explanation.

Clearing his throat, Richie continued, quietly, of course, "The government owns this library," he said, with an over-exaggerated wink. "So guess what you get to do today, if you want?" The answer was silence, of course. "Today, as an incognito boy-spy, you get to enter a super secret training class!" He couldn't tell if he was actually making it sound exciting, or if Eddie was about two seconds away from walking right back out the door. "Um. Anyway, do you wanna know how to play?"

Again, with the hesitation. Oy... But it was a nod he received, nevertheless. He took his hands back, and said, "Here's the first thing you're learning today: If I tap my wrist with my fingers, like I'm pointing to a watch, that means 'Watch out!' and duck down to hide with me. So if I did that right now, you'd come beside me and crouch down like I am, okay?"

Eddie seemed more intrigued now, than anything. A good sign, Richie hoped. He nodded, seeming to understand and accept the idea of it. Whether it would work in practice, Richie hoped he wouldn't have to find out.

"Okay, the _next_ thing you have to know on this training mission is: We're in a foreign country! Everyone here speaks a language you don't know. But _you're_ supposed to pretend you're one of them. You don't know their language yet, though. So what do you do if someone tries to talk to you?" Richie asked, eyes wide behind his glasses, getting into his own story now. "You gotta lift your fingers to your throat, and rub like this." He showed Eddie, feeling at his Adam's apple, making a face of discomfort. "You're gonna pretend your throat is sore, and that you can't talk. And luckily, because _I_ know the language, they'll be less suspicious. Okay?"

Nodding, slowly, with his brow furrowed, Eddie seemed to be putting the steps together in his head. Again, how much of it would actually get through to a boy as small as himself, Richie didn't know. But at least it was something. An idea planted, maybe.

He smoothed his hand down Eddie's arm, started to say, warm and proud of Eddie's attempt at comprehension, "Good, baby. Now -" Abruptly stopping, Richie's eyes went wide, head weighted, sliding down in the air, at the jaw by what he'd just said. _Aw, fuck_ , he thought, shoulders dropping. He'd been so good about keeping himself in line with that shit, too! Shaking his head minutely at himself, Richie blinked. Re-focused, to find Eddie's face was red, but not horrified? Kind of in that sweet way he blushed, like when Richie stroked his cheek, or brushed his hair back.

Richie's chest tightened, as he realized with no small amount of hope, that maybe Eddie _liked_ it. "Oh," he said softly, quickly rising from his knee, taking Eddie's chin with his thumb and forefinger, tipping his head back just enough to kiss his forehead. Something to release the flood of warmth crowding up the space between his heart and his lungs. He cleared his throat again, after pulling back. Finding Eddie looking up at him with big eyes, and his cheeks even darker now, a small and helpless curve upward to his slightly parted lips. _Fuck, I fucking love you_ , Richie thought, fierce and _big_. An energy making his body edge in on being jittery.

He licked out at his lower lip, then, and took in a steadying breath. "Uh, anyway. So what I was... also gonna tell you was that there's a third part of the mission. See there're people here - _familiar_ people. But they're actually agents in disguise, like you, just _pretending_ to be the people we're familiar with. So that's - that's why we have to hide from them. Because they'll try to be friendly with us, to expose the fact that we're foreigners. _Okay_?" It was all he had. He didn't know how else to put it.

Realization spread over Eddie's face like the light of sunrise in a time-lapse video. Gradual but somehow, impossibly fast. " _Okay_?" Richie repeated, the implication different from before. Eddie didn't really look okay, but with Richie crowding up in his space, he hoped to at least be some kind of wall, partition as Eddie worked out that he wasn't in any kind of danger or trouble, here. Richie lifted his hand, and began carding his fingers through the hair at the left of Eddie's head, a grounding repetition. And his other hand picked up Eddie's where it'd been forming a fist at his thigh, and wrapped around it.

"Hey, Eds..." Richie said, whisper soft. Calling Eddie's gaze up to his face. His face was drawn tight. Recognition taking up too much space. "It's okay if you don't remember everything. It's okay if you don't even want to 'play.' Whatever's gonna make you happy is what's gonna make _me_ happy." He wanted to reassure Eddie that despite the excitement he'd prattled on about earlier, he wouldn't be disappointed if Eddie had to withdraw. What an idiot, he was, for even putting that kind of pressure on Eddie in the first place!

"We have four options... _You_ have four options. And all of them are good, and we're gonna have a good day together, no matter what."

Eddie swallowed, like he was working that information down his throat. Fuck, he looked so overwhelmed. Richie stopped moving his fingers through Eddie's hair, instead pulling him close. Into Richie's chest. Other hand coming to wrap around Eddie's lower back, beneath his pack. Eddie pressed his ear to Richie's shirt, facing toward the front corner of the building where an olive green, stuffed chair sat by a small round table. For those who wanted to plop down and read a book from the Biographical section they were currently in. No one was around, not on this side of the building, anyway.

Clutching at the sides of Richie's shirt, fabric bunching between his fingers, Eddie tried to remember how to breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Let himself find a rhythm in Richie's own moving chest.

Chin curved over the top-back of Eddie's head, Richie said, slowly, "Okay. Option 1: We do the mission, and you show everyone how good you are at pretending. We get your books, and check out, and go home to read just like we planned. Option 2: We don't do the mission, and if any of the familiar people _do_ come to talk to us, I tell them all about you and you get to listen to me tell them how much I love you and how proud of you I am for as long as it takes them to understand." Eddie pulled Richie just that much closer. Richie sucked in a little breath, hesitating over pressing a kiss to Eddie's head.

"Here's option 3: We both be grown up while we pick out books, and then when we get home you can 'change into your jammies.' And, then there's option 4: We go home right now, and bake cookies together. I'll show you how good raw cookie dough tastes, and we'll have sandwiches for dinner, and maybe we can watch a movie or I can just hold you and tell you made-up stories. Whatever you want. _Okay_?"

Looking around them, Richie checked that no one was paying them mind. He looked over to the chair in the dark corner, with its table lamp off, so tucked away... "Hey... You trust me to protect you, no matter what?" Richie said, soft and tentative.

Pulling his head back from huddling against Richie's body, he seemed to read Richie's face. Face still tight, lips just slightly parted. He stopped clutching Richie's shirt, sliding his hands to meet around his back, lacing behind Richie's own backpack, as he pushed the side of his face into Richie's chest and then nodded fervently. "Good. Because I _will_ ," Richie said, arms bracing up further beneath Eddie's shoulder blades. "Why don't you come sit down with me while you think about it? Sit on my lap, and I can hold you until you're ready for whatever you decide? Where no one'll bother us."

Eddie wondered if he should. If he really ought to take that much time, or if they would actually be safe there. But, yeah, Richie would protect him... Even if Eddie decided that protection would only be needed for the time it took them to leave that corner. He nodded. "Kay," Richie said softly, hand rubbing a circle in Eddie's back before untangling himself enough from Eddie's grasp to take his hand and lead him over.

He let go of Eddie's hand so that he could shed his pack, and begin lifting Eddie's from his shoulders, setting them both at the corner of the chair. Richie turned, seating himself first, then helping Eddie crawl up to sit back against one arm of the chair, his legs hanging over the side of Richie's thighs - legs long enough to give Eddie more support. Immediately Eddie was pressing his closed eyes and silky lashes to Richie's neck, one arm softly crushed between their bodies, the other hooked lazily around the opposite side of Richie's head.

With an arm around Eddie's hip, and one at the Eddie's back, at his brown leather belt, Richie only remotely toyed with the idea of rocking Eddie. He didn't want to embarrass him, if anyone did stumble upon them. As it was, they were just two boys who were weird enough to cuddle in a library - in a dark corner, like insomniac book-vampire lovers. If he rocked Eddie, even though it wasn't likely anyone else would question it, he thought Eddie might feel exposed. So instead, he merely sat, quiet and allowing Eddie to come to his own decision, holding him like he'd said.

But Eddie's chest was drawing in breaths in such a pattern, Richie almost thought he might've fallen asleep. Except for the little twitch in his thumb at Richie's neck, and the tense way in which he was still holding his hips, and shoulders.

A few minutes more passed of Eddie not coming out with a decision. And not to push him, but in one more attempt at reassuring him, Richie cleared his throat, and said, "Eds, can you look at me for a sec?"

Sitting up, Eddie did as asked, blinking his eyes blearily, readjusting to the dim, but existing light outside of Richie's skin. Richie's hand drifted up from Eddie's waist, curling in on itself apart from his thumb. The pad of which he used to stroke across Eddie's cheek bone. Almost immediately a rose color smattering up from beneath his little pin-prick freckles. "You are so sweet and brave, and kind and smart. Strong and loyal. And you are _insanely_ beautiful," Richie said, burrowing deep into Eddie's eyes with his gaze. Voice low and sure. "Anyone who doesn't appreciate you for who you are, is _nothing_. Got it?"

Again, Eddie looked like he was about to settle in, studying Richie's face. But in fact, it took barely a moment at all for him to lean forward, and press a bruising kiss to Richie's mouth. Then he threw his arms around Richie's shoulders, pressing their necks together so hard that Richie couldn't have even moved his head. Face burning with how _sweet_ Eddie was, it hit him yet again just how much - how much he _felt_ for Eddie. Not like his feelings for him were ever really forgotten, or ever truly subsided. Just sitting under the surface, simmering forever. Threatening to boil over at times such as this.

It was probably too much - but then how could it be? When it was true. When it was Eddie...

Eddie's grip had loosened just enough that Richie could press his mouth close to Eddie's ear. He whispered, "I love you more than anything." Chest full and empty all at once. Full of affection and appreciation, and longing.

Empty because he couldn't just put Eddie inside the space within Richie that belonged fully to him and all his facets. Corridors upon corridors, all Eddie's. All empty for _him_. And Richie just couldn't give a fuck if he was saying things too big for their age, or for the amount of time they'd been together, or for a human at all. Eddie was a being beyond all of that, and no one would ever be able to convince Richie otherwise. He'd known it practically his whole life. He'd dare anyone to try and shake him of that faith, and laugh in their face when he proved them wrong. Even if it took an eternity to do. As long as Eddie would let him.

Head shifting in one quick jerk, Eddie pressed a kiss to Richie's neck, beneath his ear, then tucked the curve of his nose there. Richie smoothed a hand down Eddie's side. "What're you thinkin', baby?" Richie urged quietly - he couldn't get over the fact he could call Eddie that now, filled his heart with a giddy little trill of nerves when he said it - giving him a little rock back and forth. Not wanting to press him, really. He could hold Eddie here, for as long as he needed. But the longer they stayed, the higher the chance someone would stumble upon them. Perhaps accuse them of loitering. Say their PDA was unwelcome and inappropriate for a library.

Restlessly, Eddie shifted his face, pressing into Richie more, and then back to simply lying against him. Then, with a few more movements, Richie felt one finger on his neck, and then a second. One lifted, then pressed back down, and then the other did the same. Swallowing, Richie tried, "It's between one and two?" Eddie nodded into his shoulder. "Oh," Richie said, swell of pride lilting his voice. He pressed his hands tighter to Eddie's back. "Okay, well... I have an idea. If we see someone who's familiar, and you don't want me to abort the mission, grab my elbow. But if you _do_ want me to, then take my hand. How does that sound?" His hand trailed up Eddie's back to his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. Coming over to fold over the nape of Eddie's neck, warming his skin there.

Stomach still clenched, nervous, Eddie remained quiet. His fingers sat motionless as he considered the options still. Richie was being so patient with him, but he didn't want to keep waiting, carrying on dreading what hadn't even happened yet. Letting the tension eat at him without reward.

What he _really_ wanted was to go home and cuddle Richie and his bunny and just forget the whole idea of going out. But he also wanted the story books and Richie's gentle narration, with his character voices, and the importance he lent the stories he told. Let himself just learn how to _be_ without feeling the weight of an entire world's expectations which _maybe_ didn't even exist. And it meant a lot to Eddie that Richie wanted to spend his time that way, too. Wanted Eddie to understand that he was worth more than any stupid preconceived notions of how one should behave.

He was just scared...

But Richie was right there _with him_. He just had to keep reminding himself of that.

Finally he pulled his head back to look at Richie, mouth feeling empty; he wanted his pacifier... He thought that would really help. But boys pretending to be grown up couldn't have their binky. His bunny was in his bag though. Maybe if he could just ...just have it for a moment, his mouth would feel less barren, and his chest a little looser. Eddie tapped the side of Richie's neck again, making sure he was paying close attention. Then stretched his foot to his pack and kicked out at it a little.

A single brow rising, Richie opened his mouth just slightly, initially unsure. "You want your bag?" He received a short little nod as an answer, so leaned over Eddie's lap with his long arm and snatched the pack up by its corded, bunched up top-handle. Eddie's hand had fallen into his lap, to allow Richie to get the pack, and he lifted it to the side when Richie placed the bag in his lap. Richie picked up the zipper between his thumb and index finger, giving it a little jiggle to make sure Eddie did, in fact, want it opened.

Eddie shifted, out toward Richie's knee, creating a small alcove between their stomachs, and allowing Richie both hands to get the bag open with. Once it was parted, Richie pulled the bag open by both sides, and Eddie immediately felt safer at the sight of his stuffed animal. Reached in with both hands to pull him out. Swiftly moving it to his stomach and chest. He gave it a hug, but it wasn't enough. So still holding it tightly, he leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Richie's collar bone. Once Richie's arms encircled him, and thereby the bunny as well - _that_ was when Eddie's chest felt lighter. His shoulders relaxing into a curve toward Richie.

The hug, or cuddles, lasted a few moments, Eddie working the fat of his lower lip between his teeth, giving it a little suck. A tingle, a sensation of relief at such a small act, made him close his eyes at the wave of it. He sucked in a deep breath, and then sat back up. Slowly, gently tucking his bunny back into the darkness of the bag. A sting of guilt running down his neck as Richie zipped him back up.

When Richie looked back up, he saw Eddie's lip pouted out slightly, eyes looking down at the bag, concerned. Richie licked at his lip, thinking...

"Eds..." he started, taking Eddie's hand, and putting it over the roundness of the bunnies head beneath the fabric. Holding Eddie's hand with just a curve of his fingers. "Did you know that bunnies like to burrow in the ground? They take their little paws, and they dig a hole down, and they make their home where it's dark and dry. That's where they feel safe. Because they know that nothing but themselves can get into their hole, through their tunnels, and into their home. So... if you're worried about your bunny being sad - he's not. He's really happy in here."

 _Oh_ , Eddie thought. A feeling of _nice_ rolling over him, mouth thinning back out, no longer sad. He let Richie set the bag back on the floor, and then shifted back to the position he'd been sitting in before.

His palm conforming to the curve of Eddie's warm cheek, Richie stroked his thumb at Eddie's temple. "So... elbow and hand?" Eddie agreed, with a simple nod. And Richie knew that he was smiling so wide his cheeks bunched up under his eyes, probably looked a bit like a kid himself, as he pressed a kiss to either of Eddie's cheeks. Then, before little Eddie could even think anything of it, puffed up his cheeks with air and leaned in to blow a raspberry on Eddie's forehead.

Eddie's eyes widened comically, and he jerked back so fast, a giggle bursting out of him, an open-mouthed laugh, as he lifted the back of his forearm to wipe at his head. Eyes bright, but narrowed, silently saying, ' _What the -_?' as Richie leaned forward, laughing into Eddie's neck and collar.

He hadn't made it terribly loud, although he did see a face peering in their direction from across the way. Probably no more than what a car horn from outside might sound like, from their distance, tucked behind thick layers of wood and paper.

Then Richie pressed a final kiss to Eddie's temple, pulling him in by the side of his head. "You're my favorite little boy in the whole wide world," Richie said, giddy off of Eddie's trust in him to keep him safe. Even if just from their friends, who'd never hurt Eddie anyway. Silly, probably, but Richie couldn't help how happy it made him. Eddie bit into his lower lip, but his smile broke loose, anyway. And he threw himself into another hug before hopping off Richie's lap. Clearly invigorated by the compliment.

Richie could've died, it was so cute.

Eddie's hand in Richie's, he began pulling Richie up, and toward (Richie presumed) the children's section. Not that he knew where it was. But he was apparently just excited to get his books. Which was all Richie could've ever asked for, really. Eddie happy and enthusiastic about being himself, and doing what he wanted, when he wanted.

Still, a chuckle slipped out of his mouth as he stood, Eddie gaining enough momentum to pull him a few steps forward, before Richie found his solid footing and pulled Eddie back saying, "Whoa, sweetheart! Hold on, we gotta get our backpacks." He squeezed Eddie's hand, then let it go to begin slipping the one pack over Eddie's shoulders. Little boy standing there with pink cheeks, letting his arms be thread through the straps. Richie ruffled his hair, then took his own and looped it over his shoulder by a single loop, before taking Eddie's hand back in his own. Fingers laced together, but not locked. Considering Eddie had to be able to reach for Richie's elbow if they ran into anyone.

As they walked up to the doorway again, Richie stilled Eddie with another squeeze of his hand. Shaking his head, heart full, and amused when Eddie bounced on his toes slightly. Burst of energy making him impatient. Richie grabbed the edge of the book case, and peered out, over to where Ben had been. He was no longer at the desk with the librarian, probably off with his cart, re-stocking books. Hopefully in one of the adult sections.

They'd just have to be careful. And he was already thinking that if they did see Ben or Mike, Richie'd just tell them he bet Eddie he couldn't be quiet for an hour straight, and so that's why Eddie couldn't speak. Granted, he was sure that would result in them questioning whether or not that bet should've been the other way around. But Eddie wouldn't be interested in backing them up, so win-win!

Stroking his thumb over Eddie's hand as a reward for his patience, Richie began walking them toward the desk. "Can I help you?" The lady looked up, with a smile, and she was wearing a name tag that said 'Starret' - suddenly Richie remembered her. She'd shushed him many times as a child. But had also grabbed his hand and led him to the scary books for his age every time his hyper little brain tried to grab some gruesome tale from the adult horror section. She looked older now, more lines etched into her face, and hair much more gray than strawberry blond.

"Yeah, do you like, have a summer reading list but for preschoolers? My little cousin is coming to visit and I need to get her some books. But I don't really know much about... what's appropriate for that age range?"

She let out a soft laugh, and said, "No. I wish we did, but no one has ever expressed interest before. Here, let me show you..." she said, rising from her forest green, rolling chair. She came out from behind the large, circular wooden desk, and only barely glanced at Richie and Eddie's joined hands, before smiling even sweeter. A knowing look in her eyes, one of acceptance. Maybe even something like praise. Richie hadn't expected for that to drop his heart out, but it did. For some reason. Having her approval meant so much. He guessed it was her age, and the stereotype that librarians were conservative prudes.

Richie looked down at Eddie, seeing if he might meet eyes that held a similar sentiment, but smiled to himself when he saw that Eddie was just vacantly waiting for Richie to begin following Mrs. Starret, so that he could know when to follow, too.

When she stopped, her pink dress swaying just above her ankles, Richie took in the shelves before him. They were actually labelled, in all different colors of paper, by age range. _Well, shit,_ he thought, _that makes life easier_. He didn't remember those from way back when. "Oh, thanks! This is great. What's the limit on books again? It's been a while."

"Oh... Well, between you and me, the government says a limit of two per child, but I personally don't believe in limiting one's reading. I just ask you keep in mind the fact that others may be awaiting the books you choose, and to please bring them back at your earliest convenience."

With an appreciative smile, Richie said, "Thanks, that's awesome Mrs. S! It's about time I dusted off the ol' card anyway."

She put her finger to her lips, but was smiling still, and then gave a short nod, before stepping away, and back toward the center of the library.

Eddie giggled at him, mimicking her. Finger pressed to his lips. "Chuck it up, Rugrat," Richie said, hand going to ruffle Eddie's hair, but stroking it back instead. He did manage to lower his voice, though.

But down to business... the trouble was that Eddie hadn't been sure of his age. And honestly it seemed to fluctuate. In fact, Richie wasn't convinced that Eddie was ever completely one age. Besides everyone learned at different speeds anyway, so what did age even really mean? So hopefully the guidelines were enough, and Richie wouldn't get anything over the age of four. If Eddie got bored with a story, that'd be sign enough it was beyond his level.

They started in the infants section, knees to waxed hardwood floors, and began pulling books out at random. Any that looked good, Eddie would lay between them on the floor. They picked five or so books from each age range, since many of the books would be a one-minute read, maybe less. And ended up with Richie carrying twenty back up to Mrs. Starret with Eddie's hand in his.

He set the books on the little shelf, peering around as Mrs. Starret finished typing something up on her computer. Looking for any sign of Ben, or any other people they might know. Richie felt kind of silly for making such a to-do about everything, when they hadn't run into anyone at all. And as long as they made it through the doors at their back in a minute or so, without incident, it would've been all for naught. Gladly, of course, because he'd been an idiot for not thinking ahead. But still. Worrying Eddie over nothing... He just - he was so proud though, the way Eddie decided to take the risk.

Shaking Eddie's hand in his, making Eddie smile helplessly, Richie smiled and said, sweetly, "Gotta get my card out," letting Eddie know why he had to let go of his hand. It wasn't because he wanted to. Then he let go and pulled his backpack off, and between himself and the desk, jerking the zipper open and digging around through its contents.

His keys, both for his bike lock and the house. A sandwich bag of cheerios for Eddie, just in case, and one of those little grape juice boxes with the cello-wrapped straws glued to the outside. Some facial tissues, unused. A half-full bottle of water. An extra pair of socks he'd had in his backpack since freshman year, when he finally got sick of wet socks coming home from the barrens, and how cold they'd get on his ankles in the wind as he peddled. One of Eddie's old 'inhalers'. An extra piece of Nicotine gum for Bev, in case she got stressed. A doodle Bill had given him months ago. Empty chip bags. A flower, now droopy and discolored, from Mike. A glasses cleaning kit he rarely ever used, but that Eddie had, of course, given him instead of a birthday present one year. _Thanks_. A Swiss Army knife from Stan. And finally his wallet, in all its scuffed-up glory. That one was actually a gift from Ben, and had been in perfect condition when Richie was given it. Now it had a patina, and a sticker Richie'd found lying on the ground outside the Aladdin one night.

Inside was his bank card, the emergency cash he always kept handily tucked in the back, a coupon for a free ice cream cone at the burger shop, a gift card from his mom to the arcade, and his library card. The library card was faded, scratched up, older than anything else Richie ever carried with him. Had his name printed on it from when he was five, in spread-out archaic-looking lettering.

Mrs. Starret was looking at him from over her bifocals, patient, after having scanned in the books while he rummaged through his junk. (Some of it too precious to ever clean out, other bits there just in case.) He handed it over, and she scanned the back of the card, and then 'hmm'ed. His eyebrows rose. "What? Is it inactive?"

"No. Mr. Tozier... I thought that might be you. Would you prefer I call you Mr. R.L. Stine?"

Richie's slow-burn grin turned into a smirk. "Man, if I knew I had a reputation I never woulda stopped coming in here. How is Stine-y anyway? Still writing?"

She smiled back, but shook her head slightly. "Oh yes, he's still writing. You didn't look, for old time's sake?" Then she pinched the frame of her glasses, and boosted them up, before adding, "By the way, your reputation precedes you in the form of a one dollar late fee. Which I presume you have?"

Actually, Richie'd gotten so excited about Eddie's books, and seeing what he took to, that he forgot to look around his old haunts. Next time, maybe. Or maybe if Eddie wasn't Little, they could come together. So that he could make fun of Richie while he looked. Yeah... that would be nice. Then, if they ran into one of their friends, it'd be an even _better_ day. When did he turn into such a nerd?

Licking out at his lips, Richie kept his playful smile on his face as he said, "Aw Mrs. Starret, _you_ know they call me Big Spender." He flipped a dollar bill out from his wallet, onto the counter. Just to have Eddie tug on his tee shirt. Richie's smile faded just slightly, as he dropped his hand off the counter. Yeah, Eddie was right; he did only need one hand at the moment. So he slipped his into Eddie's palm and held tight. "Sorry about that... Sometimes books just hide. You know? It won't happen again, though. Promise."

"See that it doesn't," Mrs. Starret said, taking Richie's long-overdue late fee, and marking it off in the books. She stood from her chair as Richie wrestled his card back into his wallet one-handed, and began trying to do the same with his books. She gave him a look as though he and Eddie both were adorably helpless, and took the books in her own two hands, carefully placing them over the top of the mess already existing in Richie's bag. He blushed, but all she said was, "Be careful of crumbs, alright Mr. Tozier?"

"Will do, absolutely!" Richie pressed everything against the desk and his stomach again as he got the zipper up and around, then heave the pack around to his back, slipping his arm through the strap. "You're an absolute champ, Mrs. Starret. My cousin is gonna love these books," he assured her.

She nodded then waved them goodbye, wished them a nice day, and that she hoped to see them sooner rather than later.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you are going to find this very boring, and that is a-ok! Sorry about it, though.

Stepping back out into the bright light of the sun, blinking back tears at the sudden change, Richie and Eddie both lifted their forearms to block their eyes. Richie rolled his shoulders back, the one side adjusting to the added weight of the books. He looked to the side as they slowly began walking toward the sidewalk which had a shadier path home. "You thirsty or hungry, Eds?" It had taken them even longer than Richie had initially planned, and caught up, he hadn't even bothered to check in. Pitiful excuse of a babysitter...

Eddie waited until the sun was no longer blinding them, and squeezed Richie's hand just a little tighter, shaking his head. However, he looked unsure.

Smiling softly, Richie paused, turning his backpack to his front with the jerk of his shoulder. He rest his back against the tacky texture of the brick, and grazed his thumb over the back of Eddie's hand. "Here. It's just a small snack. You don't have to have much. Just a little bit until we make something at home." He let go of Eddie's hand so that he could slide himself down the wall, shirt rucking up his back just slightly as he sat on the concrete, knees bent up and feet spread. Eddie watching him curiously all the while, until Richie motioned with two fingers for Eddie to sit in-between.

He turned, using Richie's knees to balance himself as he crouched down. Richie's hands on his hips to help him. And sat cross-legged. Within moments a juice box with a straw appeared in front of him, along with a small bag of cereal, already opened. Eddie had to bite into his lip to keep from smiling. Some distant part of him overwhelmed by the simplicity, and yet the generosity of the act and fore-planning. More importantly, the second he saw the Cheerios, his stomach began aching.

A hunger, worked up from stress, that hadn't presented itself until he was no longer in a threatening situation.

Happily, he took the juice box in hand, and laid the snack baggie in the gap of his legs. Richie looped an arm around him, resting across his middle, and pulling his back into Richie's chest. Nuzzling the side of his chin to Eddie's head, bumping into the soft skin of his ear, while Eddie took his first sip. He sighed, content, resting in Richie's arms, against his body. In the warmth of summer, but the shade of the large building behind them.

After a few quiet and peaceful minutes of munching on the snacks Richie'd brought for him, sharing his juice with the big goof, and watching birds stretch their wings through the cloud-battered blue sky, leaves rustling and changing shades of green in the wind, sweet scent of flowers wafting through the breeze... Eddie shook his juice box. Showing Richie it was empty. And handed what remained of the cereal back to him. Richie pecked the side of his head with a little kiss, and then used both of his hands to zip the baggie back up, and back into his pack. He kept the juice box out, afraid little droplets might escape, and stain the books, knowing there would be at least one trash can on the way home.

Richie's arm returned, just for a moment. His hand rubbing a gentle circle over Eddie's belly. "Better?" he asked kissing at Eddie's cheekbone as if it were some kind of punctuation to his question. Eddie sucked in a breath of the fresh air, and realized that yeah, he really did feel better. Nodded, turning to look up at Richie through his lashes, satisfied smile on his face. "Thanks for sharing," Richie said, smiling back. "Ready to go?"

Head lolling back even more, looking back out at the street beyond the library's flower boxes, Eddie rolled his head over Richie's shoulder, thinking about it. He felt so nice, so... calm. That he almost wanted to say no. Wanted to nap on Richie's chest, just as they were sitting, with the sounds of birds chirping, and people popping open their gas tanks at the station kitty-corner to where they sat. Let his eyes fall closed in consideration of just that. Huffing out a small breath of pure relief.

Chuckling under his breath, Richie leaned his mouth to Eddie's ear and asked, "Is that a no, baby?"

Eddie shrugged, smiling at Richie's amusement. He still wanted his pacifier, but... To be with Richie like this, he could forego it a little while longer.

Since Eddie wasn't giving him much in the way of a go-ahead, Richie resigned to letting both arms encircle Eddie's middle, holding him close, jarring his legs inward to cradle Eddie with his body. "Want me to read you a story while we're here?" he asked. Just one, though. Pretty soon the concrete was going to start getting after both their behinds, so unforgiving and hard.

Shaking his head, Eddie turned in Richie's arms, so that he was lying on his side, curling an arm around Richie's waist, other on the crux of Richie's thigh, cuddling closer. Richie pressed his next kiss to the top of Eddie's head, and slipped one hand just a little lower, squeezing lovingly at Eddie's hip. "If you go to sleep, your body's not gonna be very happy. Got my big soft bed at home, Eddie Spaghetti. We can go lie down together. I'll open the window and blinds. It'll be like here, but comfier."

He burrowed his head deeper into Richie's chest, savoring the moment. Knowing he was about to give in to the offer, rather than stay right where he was.

A word formed at his jaws, back behind, something full of ease and joy. Nearly worked it's way to his tongue too, until he frowned. Realizing he didn't know how to say it. Didn't know how it should sound aloud. Sighing, Eddie opened his eyes, and pushed up and away from Richie's body, letting Richie stand and hold out a hand to help him up.

The walk back to Richie's house was just as quiet, apart from the low rattling of spindles on a bike that whirred passed them on the street. No one they knew, not really. Hands clasped tightly together, Richie, in the middle of a story about how he'd discovered the crawl space beneath his house at the age of three and came out covered in muck and cobwebs (worse than that, but he was editing his story for Eddie's sake) - he lifted their hands, kissed the back of Eddie's, and then as he dropped them again, began swinging them back and forth. Drawing a laugh from Eddie, whose own arm started propelling their arms just as much. Probably looking very odd to any passersby.

"Should we eat something real when we get home, or should we read first?" Richie asked.

If they made food while Eddie was dressed in big boy clothes, it wouldn't be as... awkward, if Richie's family ended up being around. His sister only came home for the weekends to catch a break from her room mate, and wash her clothes, eat decent food. Usually. But his parents were in and out of the house all the time. He never could figure out their schedules.

However, they did just have a snack, and if need be, Eddie would be safe upstairs while Richie made them food. Maybe while Eddie napped, if he fell asleep. Or Eddie could change, too.

He wondered, vaguely, if Eddie would hate the idea of Richie wearing footie pajamas with him. Just to sort of normalize it from time to time, or to take the brunt of any remarks. If Eddie was planning on coming over all the time, anyway. Like Richie sure fucking hoped he would. Practically a whole year before they were free to leave Derry, and their homes. So Eddie could just wear what he wanted, be in his head space, and Richie could just... Then, if it normalized it too much, maybe Eddie wouldn't feel special in his jammies. And besides, Richie doubted he could find any for his lanky-ass body anyway. Not to mention, he'd rather just get Eddie more pairs.

Eddie called his attention with a little tug to the hand he was holding, and Richie blinked. "Oh," he said, laughing at himself. "Stick to the yes or no questions, huh?" Eddie's mouth quirked ever so slightly at the corner, but then he pointed to Richie's pack. _Oh_ , Richie thought. He just hadn't been paying attention. "Sorry, baby, I was thinkin' about your pj's. Wanna find you some more." His chest filled up warm, when Eddie bit into his lower lip, eyes glazing over. Maybe picturing what patterns he'd like the most. Richie looked on him fondly as they continued walking, letting Eddie sink into his reverie before finally saying. "Straight to the books, huh?"

Nodding, Eddie stepped in closer, lining his arm all the way up along Richie's, causing them to brush together as they made the rest of their way home.

When they reached Richie's house, he led Eddie into the kitchen, and pulled down a short plastic cup from the cupboard. He filled it with cold water from the tap. Just in case either of them got thirsty while they read. While Richie was used to talking a lot (as his friends would willingly attest to) there was still a good chance his throat would get dry while reading. There were a couple books in the bunch that were actually a fair size. One about a knight and a princess and a moral of the story that dealt with not underestimating people either emotionally or physically, based on how they looked. Plus, one juice box between the two of them wasn't much to drink, all on its own.

"If you get hungry later, just tell me," Richie said, grabbing Eddie's hand again and leading him out of the kitchen, and up the stairs.

Once inside Richie's room, door closed at their back, he made good on his promise to pull the window wide open, and its blinds as well. Letting in even more fresh air, and light filtering through the trees and bug screen. Once their cup was set on his bedside table, and their backpacks on the foot of the bed, Eddie standing with his hands folded at his front.

Turning back from the window, Richie looked at Eddie just sweetly standing there, and realized with a harsh blink, that he had not fully considered _how_ Eddie was meant to change into his pajamas if he was still little. He drew in a breath, stepping into Eddie's space, hands on his elbows. "Want help changing?" he asked, voice rocky at best. He'd been good about giving Eddie privacy while changing, but Eddie had always been older then. And anyway, if Eddie didn't mind him helping, Richie - Richie thought he'd be really happy to do it. If it wasn't going to cause some kind of dissonance for Eddie, breaking the pattern of transition.

Eddie's own chest puffed up with a breath, and he glanced to his backpack. Richie followed his line of sight. "Got it. Pj's are in your pack. Are you big enough to get your shirt off yourself?" Richie asked. Curious, but also encouraging. He knew that, age-depending, taking one's shirt off might be quite the ordeal. Had once seen his little cousin scream when she got her shirt stuck over her face, swallowed in claustrophobic darkness, before his aunt helped it the rest of the way off. For others, it was one of the most simple tasks to perform. Just pull up until it's off.

Head tilting to the side, Eddie pulled his lips inward, thinking, and then reached for the bottom of his polo with both hands, criss-cross. Richie'd let him try himself, while he got everything out of Eddie's backpack, help if Eddie got stuck. But by the time Richie had bunny out sitting on the corner, and their packs on the floor, jammies in hand, Eddie's shirt was hanging limply from his hand.

"Good job," Richie said, proud, and ruffling Eddie's hair, before taking the shirt to set on top of Eddie's pack, pulling him closer to the foot of the bed. He set the baby blue and yellow pj's down, and then knelt before Eddie. He lifted one leg by the calf, and carefully worked a shoe off of Eddie's foot, setting it to the side. Then did the same with the other. Repeated the steps with Eddie's socks, stuffing one in each of his shoes for safe-keeping.

Then came Eddie's brown belt. Richie merely slipped the leather from its hook, and out of the buckle. He swallowed, before reaching for the button. Very focused on what he was doing, and who he was doing it for. Once it was undone, he huffed out a little breath. Catching on to the fact he'd been holding it, and rolled his eyes at himself, looking up at Eddie amused. Silently asking Eddie how fuckin' silly he was being.

Eddie held a small blush on his cheeks, eyes trained on Richie's hands where they hovered over the zip. It made Richie feel a little better that he wasn't the only one feeling a little nervous about the whole thing. As innocent as it was.

Still, his stomach grew a little tighter. Tripping over some betraying sense of guilt. Like just because he loved Eddie and his body, he was taking advantage of him in the moment. He swallowed harshly again, trying to wash away the feeling, as he continued. _Almost over_ he told himself. Just a few more seconds and he'd be slipping Eddie into his other clothes, and there was _nothing_ wrong with what he was doing.

He felt fingers delicately pressing to his eyebrows. Looked up from the floor. And realized how tightly knit his brow was. That Eddie was trying to smooth them out. Reassure him in that sweetly small way, that flooded Richie with an ache so deep he thought he might die if it ever went away. That love, slotting through him like a sword. Pull it out, and he'd bleed all his feelings everywhere until there wasn't anything left. So keep it in. Let the pressure of it keep him alive.

A steadying breath later, and Richie was shakily undoing the zipper of Eddie's khaki shorts, but undoing it nevertheless. He slid the shorts down, and then leg by leg, off. Laying it atop Eddie's shirt, in kind.

Rising, Richie put both of his hands out, near Eddie's underarms. "Up," Richie said, and Eddie let him slot his hands, help him sit up on the edge of the bed.

Once in hand, Richie started to pull one slot over Eddie's foot, then the other. Sort of hooking them place as he tried to stretch the fabric up behind Eddie's legs, zipping up part-way to keep it somewhat in place. Before he could help Eddie back down and finish pulling sleeves over arms, and pull white zipper the rest of the way up. Mid-calf to neck. He smiled softly when his hands smoothed up Eddie's legs, drawing the pajama legs upward, and noticed Eddie's slightly darkened knee caps. Pressed a kiss to each one, then looked up at Eddie to wink at him. Telling him how cute he was.

Eddie surprised him, when he stuck out his elbow then, eyes wide and bordering on insistent. "Elbows, too? What a smart boy!" Richie said, around a laugh, pleased. Joint for joint, he guessed. Then an idea struck him, and ... although he could imagine Eddie bringing it up later, to poke fun, Richie asked, "Why don't I do all of 'Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes' while I'm at it? Huh, baby?"

Little mauve-pink lips twitched upward, brown eyes growing bright and warm in agreement.

It wasn't like it could hurt to teach a wordless boy what certain things were called with affection to help anchor the words in. If Eddie ever decided to speak, Richie wanted him to have a good association with the words he'd learn to speak. And being able to tell Richie if something was hurt, or just needed his attention, was important. Although Eddie could probably just point. But still, it was just a thought. A warm, dreamy little thought that tugged Richie up onto his feet.

Hands folded behind his back, to make it more effective, Richie placed a kiss to Eddie's crown. "Head," he said. Then one to Eddie's bare shoulder at the left. "Shoulders." Right. Then, he crouched down, sitting on the balls of his feet. Left knee. "Knees." Right. (Yes, he'd already done them, but it was part of the song, and would help Eddie learn. Probably. And maybe his knees just deserved the second helping.)

Palm under Eddie's left foot, he lifted Eddie's fleece-covered toes to his mouth, making an exaggerated 'Mwah!' sound, since Eddie wouldn't be able to feel the kiss as well, through his jammies, as with the rest of the kisses. He chuckled when he felt Eddie's toes wriggling and, with Eddie's leg already pulled close to his face, gave his calf a little nuzzle with his face saying, "And toes." Kissed the next set before standing up again.

Quite a workout, this song, Richie thought to himself, nearly interrupting its flow when he saw just how entertained Eddie looked. Nearly pulled him in for another kiss to his head, smiling brightly. He'd given up keeping his hands off once he'd crouched down, for need of balance, and for other uses. So he decided to go ahead and take Eddie's face in his hands. Leaning in close, he watched carefully as Eddie's eyes fluttered closed. Pressed a kiss to one soft eyelid. "Eyes." And the other.

Turning Eddie's head one way, and then of course, the next. Richie said, "Ears," as he kissed each one. Then, he hovered over Eddie's mouth. Finally leaned in, eyes falling closed. Finding it difficult not to linger extra long there, his affection for Eddie compounding with each press of lips. "Mouth," he said, hushed, as he pulled away. Watched Eddie's eyes open slowly, after him. "And nose," he finished. Pressing a firm kiss to Eddie's button of a nose. "And for good measure?" he asked, prompting Eddie to present both of this elbows, as he took a step back.

Richie took Eddie's little balled-up fists in his hands, and lifted each elbow to his mouth, then for _extra_ good measure, kissed at Eddie's wrists, before lowering Eddie's arms. A small smile on his face, slightly creasing his eyes at the corners.

"Stand up for me?" Richie asked, holding Eddie's hands, to help him the few inches it took to slip to the floor.

He pulled the footie pajamas up by one arm, guiding Eddie's hand through to the other side, and then the other arm before reaching down to carefully bring the zipper up, so as not to catch. Once Eddie was all covered up, Richie pulled him into a hug, arms wrapped around Eddie's neck, over his shoulders. Eddie's hands grabbed at the sides of Richie's shirt, and he huffed a soft, contented breath into Richie's chest. "Comfy-cozy?" Richie asked. Only worried that Eddie might actually grow too warm. Luckily Maine had a good breeze, a rush of cold that spent most summer days brushing the heat from side to side in such a way that, as long as a body moved enough, they wouldn't cook through.

Of course, they were both about to be pretty stagnate on the bed, and he didn't know if the water he'd brought up would really be enough.

Frowning, he pulled back, looking Eddie in the eyes seriously. "Hey. You gonna be too hot, kiddo? You don't have to be zipped all the way up. Or... I can just give you one of my bigger tee-shirts to wear." Eddie looked up at him, big eyes, clearly undecided as he shrugged. Maybe good for now, but... "No over-heating, okay? Tell me if you wanna change." Especially since Richie knew they were going to be cuddling. Well, as much as they could with Richie having to hold up books and read. Occasionally have them both sit up so he could tip small amounts of water into Eddie's mouth.

Begrudging the fact he hadn't bought Eddie a sippy cup for _his_ house. Should have had one of everything Eddie would need, here, so he didn't have to carry so much with him when he came over.

Eddie hugged him close again, a quick burst of it, lasting only long enough for him to nod his head into Richie's shirt. Then they both simultaneously moved to the bags. Eddie tucked his bunny to his side, before reaching into his bag to bring out his binky. While Richie got the pile of books out. Richie moved to set the books on a corner of his bed table opposite the cup of water, and turned to find Eddie had moved closer, holding his pacifier out, ring tucked between index and middle fingers.

"Oh. Want me to wash it for you?" Eddie nodded his head. So Richie helped him up onto the bed, by his waist, Eddie kneeing up, then settling on the right side of the bed, back against the headboard. Richie took the binky. "Be right back," he said, softly, moving through his door, leaving it open just an inch or so - so he could hear if Eddie needed him, or ... avoid making him nervous with the door closing them off from each other completely.

When he returned, warm water droplets dripping from the pacifier, Richie made sure he heard the door _click_ closed again, and then presented the binky to Eddie who immediately stuck it in his mouth.

Eyelids lowering almost completely, as he savored the feeling of it in his mouth. Biting around the rubber and adjusting to his lips pressed to his teeth, sucking gingerly at it. He let bunny drop to sit by his side, there. While he reveled in the feeling.

The bed shifted under Richie's weight, but Eddie's eyes didn't open. He let himself sink further down into the bed, and, in fact, closed his eyes completely. As Richie pressed up against his side, the backs of their hands brushing. Then another shift came, and Eddie's heart swooped when he felt half a mouth press a kiss to the side of his mouth not covered by pacifier. The other have of the kiss had landed directly on the plastic. For some reason making Eddie's heart race. His eyes shot open, and he looked up to find Richie adjusting his glasses, smiling down at him. "Cute boy," Richie said, hushed. As if having to explain his actions. Before he laid back and grabbed a book from the table.

It didn't take long for Eddie to wrap himself around Richie's closest arm. Initially he'd had his knee tucked over the pale wrist at his side. But Richie'd fumbled too much with turning the pages, just using one hand, so Eddie had relented. Holding only to Richie's bicep. Giving back the mobility of Richie's arm from the elbow down.

They started with the easiest books. Breezing through them, apart from when Eddie would occasionally lift a finger to run over a picture. Art he thought was pretty, or interesting. And Richie's chest would feel full, and he'd memorize the points Eddie would touch, trying to gather what Eddie might be thinking from the movements alone. He'd press a kiss to Eddie's forehead, bowing his head at an awkward angle, every time Eddie would tuck his hand back under Richie's arm, and then would continue reading.

He tried not to interrupt the flow of their reading with water breaks, but at least before every new book, Richie would pull Eddie to sit up with him. Take his binky between his fingers, and gently tip the cup up. Ushering in small sips to avoid choking. Then take a drink for himself. Press the back of his hands to the exposed skin between Eddie's collar bones, feeling if he was getting too warm. They were lucky that breeze had really started blowing in cool air the later in the day it got. So far, Eddie had been warm to the touch, but not hot. Only their arms were sweaty, where Eddie had joined them, like Eddie was a sleeve.

As the more substantial books came to the top of the pile, Richie began reading a book of fairy tales. Medieval settings, frog princes, tall stone towers, magic, knights. The book was the thickest of the bunch, and tall. Holding it up grew tiring at one point, and Eddie's fingers had begun creeping up under Richie's actual sleeve, gently skimming across his skin, kneading in. Distracting Richie, and making him want to kiss Eddie all over, tuck him under his arm, into his side and hold him.

A day of reading was what he'd promised, and he wasn't going to go back on it. So, no giving in to that just yet. The real cuddling would come after they were done.

But just for a moment, Richie set the book down, like a chest plate, holding their place, as he turned onto his side, looking into Eddie's eyes. Elbow holding the book to his chest, he lifted his hand to card through Eddie's bangs, and back. He sighed to himself, as he studied Eddie's face. Eddie's eyes had dropped at the soft touches, the gentle movement through his hair. But they'd opened back up by the time Richie started to speak.

"I just wish you could live here... You know. Like a live-in baby sitter. But you'd be my live-in - _boy_. And I could just take care of you any time. And -" Richie felt stupid. Stupid for feeling his throat constrict around the last word, before he stopped himself. He didn't even know what he was talking about, or why he was saying it. Eddie couldn't and that was just that. Richie's gaze went unfocused, just for a second. Then Eddie blinked up at him, tapped at the book.

Richie huffed out a laugh, then brushed his nose against Eddie's in a quick kiss, before settling back down. "Alright, alright. Stop being mushy, and finish the story about the prince and princess getting married after meeting like five minutes ago. Got it."

At some point, Richie had noticed Eddie's chest finding a certain rhythm, where it was pressed along his arm. But he wouldn't have been able to say for certain which of them fell asleep first. Or who managed to push the book away, and over the side of the bed. Who curled in, first, locked legs, pressed Eddie's forehead into Richie's neck. It didn't really matter, either.


	4. Chapter 4

When Eddie awoke, his hair was plastered to his temple with sweat, and his nose was red from being pressed to Richie's chest. He blinked, bleary-eyed, and gauged the level of light still filtering into the room. The sun was lower, but not by much. Only vaguely more orange than when he fell asleep. Richie's hand had fallen loosely over Eddie's elbow, while the other was at the nape of his neck, only his thumb still grazing Eddie's skin. Eddie cleared his throat, low, trying to wake himself up. Without making too much, noise, of course. He could tell Richie was still sleeping.

Eddie pressed his lips together in a sleepy smile, before tipping his head just so that he could press a kiss to Richie's collar bone, through his shirt. Then worked on extracting himself from the bed as carefully as possible.

Too-warm and verging on grossly sweaty, he rounded the bed, to his pile of clothes. And began unzipping his pajamas.

Whether it was a combination of the bed moving and the teeth of the zip being undone, or just one of the two, Eddie wasn't sure. But Richie made him jump out of his skin when he said, slurred, "Don't want you to leave."

After reprimanding himself for being so jumpy, Eddie sighed, and said quietly, "I'm not leaving. Just changing my clothes. Too warm. I'll be right back. Go back to sleep." Eddie pulled his clothes on, and folded his pj's up into a ball, before sticking it in his pack. He thought he'd leave his bunny out, just for the time being, since it was at the head of the bed, and Richie was being sweet and needy.

Of course, Richie hadn't listened to him. Was watching Eddie as he climbed back onto the bed. "I didn't finish your story," he said, before casting a look around the bed for the book. His mouth turned down in confusion when it was no where to be found. No where easily accessible, anyway. Eddie snorted. Did Richie think he was going to continue reading when Eddie wasn't little anymore?

To pull his attention away from the missing book, Eddie scooped Richie's glasses off his face. Folded the frames together, and set them up by his bunny. He drew a finger down the length of Richie's nose, smiling at Richie's bemused expression, as he said, "That's okay. I like how it ended anyway." Then he added, "Turn over," gently pushing at Richie's upper arm. Working Richie around so that he could pull Richie's back to his chest, get an arm over his waist, and lock their fingers together.

His eyes had fallen closed, prepared to return to their nap, in a much cooler set of clothing, when Richie said softly, "Eddie?"

"Mhm?"

"I love you."

Laughing, Eddie pressed a kiss to the uppermost knob of Richie's spine, and said, "I love you too, Richie."

"No. I mean," Richie started. Then audibly swallowed. "I think I love you more than you love me. I don't think the way I feel for you could ever have duplicated itself in another human being. But it's okay. I've been thinking of ways to balance it out, maybe. So that we'll have an easier time... Make things easier in the future, too. And it's okay you know. That I love you more." Richie still sounded like he was half-asleep. Quickly waking himself up with harsh vulnerability, and prickling _need_. A need to be understood. That he wasn't going to be complacent in their relationship, let himself draw on Eddie until there was nothing left for Eddie to give.

"It's not okay, because it's not true," Eddie told him, somewhat stiffly, hand squeezing in Richie's. He pulled Richie in closer, got his chin over Richie's shoulder, smoothing Richie's hair back and out of the way with his cheek.

Eddie sighed, long-suffering, when Richie bull-dozed over what he'd said with, "See, I've been thinking that I can probably work _and_ go to school this year. Y'know, my time management skills might be put to the test, but I think I can do it."

Eyebrows drawing together, Eddie opened his eyes. Too late for going back to sleep, if they were gonna have a conversation like this. Suddenly like they were adults. "But. Homework, studying... You think you'll still have time for," Eddie said, thinking 'me' when he continued with, "Everything? That's. A lot. I don't think you understand how much time that's all going to really amount to."

"Well, yeah, I'll still have time. So, to break it down: eight hours on Saturday, and Sunday. And I can pull later hours on Friday nights, so six to midnight. Then six to ten Monday through Thursday. That gives me 38 fuckin' hours a week to put in my savings account for after graduation. Well, and some to spoil you with, obviously." Give or take a lunch hour.

"Yeah, but... You still have to eat, and sleep, and... you know. _Live_. You didn't give yourself a single day off, Richie," Eddie said, trying to keep his voice even. It still came out as a reprimand.

Richie's eyebrows drew closer. Obviously, he still had to do all of those things. Breakfast was a snap, easy enough to eat while riding his bike to school. Lunch breaks. Dinner just before heading to work. Shower every night _after_ work. Studying and homework right after school. Fifteen minutes each way, commute. Sleep. And -

"Oh... O-kay. No. That's what I mean, Eds. We'll have some classes together hopefully, lunch too, and then we can both stay after school in the library to do our homework together. I can even pack a dinner if I have to, and then I'll go to work from there. Then on Saturday and Sunday it's only like... 32 to 34 hours out of 48, which means I'll have at least _14_ ," Richie said, craning his neck to place a kiss on whatever part of Eddie's face he could reach - it ended up being half his mouth, half air - "To spend doting on _you_."

Eddie huffed at the kiss. Didn't want to be placated like it was all just that easy. Richie wasn't thinking things through. "You'll be grouchy and exhausted if you plan out every single moment of your week like that."

"Says who? Maybe _you're_ the one who's gonna be grouchy. If you think it'll be too lonely, you can always get a part-time job, and then... You know, the more we save now, the more we can fuck around _next_ year, literally _and_ figuratively."

"Literally," Eddie repeated, rolling his eyes. "I'm serious, Rich. You have to have time to yourself too. And what about the rest of our friends? You're just never going to see them again?"

"No," Richie said, scoffing. "I'll have classes with them too, and potentially by myself, and lunch, and they can come to the library and study _with_ us."

"You're over-simplifying."

"You're over-complicating."

" _Richie_."

" _Eddie_ ," Richie said, tone mocking. Richie turned around in Eddie's hold, hand curving over Eddie's hip. "Look at me. And - give me my fucking glasses back." Eddie heaved a sigh, and presented Richie his glasses before they fixed their gazes on each other. "I swear on my mother's grave -"

"Your mother's not dead."

"I swear on my great-aunt Miriam's grave that if you, at any point, feel neglected, I will cut my hours down, or quit entirely."

"And then resent me when you aren't living comfortably while at college."

"Okay, first of all, I don't know what you want me to say here. And second, I never said I had to start college courses immediately. I don't even know if I need 'em. The best option could be to intern at a radio station."

"They're not gonna just hand that to you after a stint making tacos. Regardless of your _high school_ musical theory class."

"Cynic," Richie said, tapping his finger at the center-point of Eddie's forehead, frowning. "Fine, so if I have to, I'll go to night school to bolster my resume until I _do_ catch a break." A stretch of silence passed, and Eddie didn't seem like he'd be ready to speak any time soon. "Eds, why? Why are you taking this so... We're just in high school. Can we save the financial crises for when we're at least twenty-five?"

"You're the one who was talking about saving money. _After_ , might I add, you told me _not_ to get a job this summer. I could've been working and saving this whole time, so that you didn't _have_ to work through the entire school year."

"I'm not _worried_ though. I'm just trying to get some kind of an extra foothold. It's not a big deal, or I'd be doing overtime right now. And I'm only thinking about it so that, like I said, we'll have even more potential free-time together after we graduate. Long haul." He planned to have a legitimate future with Eddie, and besides, maybe if they didn't have all the time in the world so early in their relationship, they'd appreciate it more. Or something. Richie grimaced. "Look. I _love_ that you're concerned about how much time I'm gonna have for you. But full disclosure: you will, very probably, have to deal with me for the rest of your _life_. Just let that sink in for a minute, and then get back to me if you still think you're gonna be hard-up."

Eddie groaned. Right, so that was what he'd meant by making things 'easier'. Smoother. He was going to make himself less available, so that Eddie's life wouldn't be encroached upon, thereby making him tolerable for longer. "Jesus, Richie..."

"Jesus, right back," Richie said, mouth thinning slightly, from the dumb smile he had on before. Like he'd beat some sort of system.

"I'm _not_ going to get tired of you. We've known each other since we were like, _five_. As far as I'm concerned, we're passed the seven-year-itch. You've been in the reserves long enough. So," Eddie sighed, "Time to report for active duty. Alright?"

" _Aw_ , I thought you were gonna call me 'soldier' and it was gonna be super hot." Then, lamenting, Richie breathed out, "Drill Sargent Kaspbrak."

Laughter bubbled out of Eddie, his nose wrinkling slightly as he tipped his head forward, meeting Richie's chin. "You're the worst," he said, voice affectionate. Quieting as he edged in on different tone. "Fine," he said, tilting his head back, "Try this on for size: Shut up and kiss me, soldier!" He felt like a fucking moron for saying it, but when Richie's eyes lit up, both amused and appeased, he didn't care so much.

"Sir, yes sir!" Their mouths met as Richie's hand subconsciously kneaded at Eddie's hip. Eddie pressed up into the kiss, slow, followed by a short break, and then another kiss just after. Richie licked his lips when he pulled back, eyes warm behind his glasses. Eddie's chest felt full all the way up his neck, and he bit into his lip, as Richie asked, "Permission to speak, sir?"

Still playing, apparently, Eddie said, "Permission granted - maggot," a twitch of a laugh in his voice.

"Sir," Richie said, unblinking, mouth getting closer, "I love you, sir."

He relented to the kiss that followed, eyes closing, as he sunk into it. But despite the warmth Richie's words filled him with, his brain also wanted to rebel. A dull pain throbbing in his heart, Eddie swallowed thickly when their kiss came to an end. Richie looked about as in love as he sounded, but still there was something cloying around Eddie's airways. Voice etched out with gravel, he said seriously, "Do you know how to follow orders, soldier?"

Richie smirked, but his voice remained soft, "Not well, sir."

Face tight, Eddie blinked, and then steadied his gaze. He knew it was silly, to keep on, but it seemed to be holding Richie's attention, at least. So despite the serious context of what he was about to stay, he continued on with the military-themed charade. "Well if you don't follow this one, I'll have you court-martialed for insubordination, cadet: Acknowledge that I want to spend my time with you - all of it - even if it's not feasible or realistic."

"Eddie..."

And Richie thought he was going to admonish Eddie? Absolutely not. Richie was the one being absurd. "Seriously, Richie. That bullshit hurts." Eddie didn't know it, but his grip on Richie's arm was growing tighter, uppermost knuckles turning white as his fingertips bit into Richie's shirtsleeve.

"Eddie -"

"I mean it. Your doubts are gonna make _me_ go crazy."

"No. Eddie," Richie breathed out, voice finally less amused and more exasperated. " _Listen_. You're gonna marry me ...right?"

Caught off guard, Eddie's mouth sat agape momentarily, as he questioned what he'd just heard. A moment later, he let out a sniff of a laugh, and rolled his eyes, cheeks going rose-colored. "Yeah, Rich, I'm gonna marry you," he said, dry and sarcastic.

" _Really_ ," Richie said, an urgency in his voice. Putting the question to Eddie again. His nose was practically brushing Eddie's, and his eyes were intent.

Swallowing harshly, Eddie took a labored breath as the smile fell off his face, and he peered back into Richie's eyes. It was with ragged uncertainty, but whole sincerity that Eddie replied, "Yeah, Rich. Someday, I'm gonna marry you."

Richie's lips pursed together. Then he bit into his lower one, as his eyes flashed down to Eddie's mouth and back up again. Before his face softened, and he forced a dim, deprecative smile, as if that wasn't _exactly_ what he had been hoping to hear. Exactly what he needed to make his heart stop pounding in his chest, pulse going crazy up the length of his neck. He could even feel it in his ears. " _Great_. Now I have to save for a ring, _too_ ," Richie joked, sounding put-upon. But also entirely delighted by that fact.

Eddie half-heartedly slammed the butt of his palm into Richie's shoulder. "Shut up." Let the record stand that Richie had asked _Eddie_ , to begin with. Eddie's tongue darted out to his lips, and then Richie was pressing into him, their noses aligning, Richie's glasses being pushed up as their lips melded. Then Eddie was pushing into Richie's space, rolling him onto his back, as he hooked a leg over Richie's waist. Falling in line to lay over the top of him, straddling him, with his forearms making a resting spot of Richie's chest.

When Eddie pulled back, Richie's glasses fell mostly back into place, and his arms circled around Eddie's rear, hands laced together at the central curve of Eddie's ass. "Am I too heavy," Eddie asked, punctuating his question with a kiss to the end of Richie's chin.

"You're perfect," Richie said. And Eddie's eyes nearly pricked up, because he knew it wasn't just their position or Eddie's weight that he was talking about. Eddie smoothed his arms outward, palms going to Richie's upper arms, sliding softly up underneath his sleeves to curve around. Holding him there, as he lay his cheek over Richie's collarbones. Richie's sleeves bunching along his forearms. Richie sucked in a little breath, that had Eddie listening intently, when he said, "I'm sorry, Eds. I wasn't trying to hurt you..."

A soft smile tugged at one side of Eddie's mouth. Any tension remaining in his face ebbed away, even as he told Richie honestly, "I know. It just - you know, you start to question why someone is saying your relationship is doomed to fail. When you know it won't on _your_ side. And you start to think that maybe they're projecting. Like - like you think you're gonna get bored of _me_."

Richie felt like a fucking tool. Maybe he _was_ a tool, for not considering that. But at the same time, he didn't understand how Eddie could possibly... Even _begin_ to imagine that was a possibility. "I'm gonna marry you so hard. I'll marry you every year if I have to, to show you I'm not going anywhere." Maybe it was over-kill, maybe it wasn't. But aside from taking action, which would take their whole lives, as proof, he could only offer his word, then.

Smiling into Richie's chest, Eddie nuzzled in deeper, thumbs circling Richie's skin under his shirt. "I think that's a little excessive, but thanks," he said, dry. Then pressed a firm kiss to Richie's chest. "I love you, you dumb ass."

Sighing, content, Richie asked, "Can those be your vows? Just those six, sweet, little words?"

Eddie laughed, elbows turning in, holding Richie as best he could without his already-busy hands. Any other acknowledgement of Richie's request would have to wait for a very, very long time. Instead, Eddie said quietly, "It's not the same as moving in, but... I could stay the night. If that's - if you want me to."

With a short, animated bark of a laugh, Richie picked his head up off the bed to look down at the crown of Eddie's head. "If I want you to. When would that even be a valid question to ask? Of course I fucking want you to."

A slow-burn smile crept onto Eddie's face, before he turned his head, chin on Richie's moving, breathing chest. "Richie," he said, not even sure, entirely, what he wanted to say. What could he say that would be any different...? He just felt so much love, that the words were constantly trying to force themselves out. _I love you, I love you, I love you._ His nostrils flared as he took a sharp breath in, and then turned his cheek back to chest. "Go back to sleep."

Richie's grip on Eddie tightened, just enough to bring the top of Eddie's head close enough to kiss. And then, both of them, with smiles on their faces, slowly slipped back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're saying, 'Hey... these kids are moving way too fast!' I see your logic, but I raise you a [U-Haul lesbian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U-Haul_lesbian) stereotype. I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Working title for this, _Shedding black and grey to take on red and blue_ , part has been: [Going to the library and gonna get ma-a-a-ried](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTq7w8P6_2I).
> 
> This may turn into a six-chapter piece... I just needed to get this part out because I have chapter 3 for [Once you go great (you never go good)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13801989) that's been done for well over a week, that I couldn't post because it contained spoilers for this part. I know it's on the shorter side, but hopefully it's substantial enough!


	5. Chapter 5

Maybe it was Richie's body heat mixed with the summer breeze, but Eddie slept soundly against Richie's chest. So soundly, that when he blinked his eyes open, upon waking, he found a darkened spot on Richie's shirt. Immediately he felt his cheeks heat up, as he brushed the back of his hand across his wet mouth, and then the pad of his fingers across the spot, trying to pick up any excess moisture that he could. Thereby, of course, waking up Richie.

Richie craned his neck so that he could look at what Eddie was doing, and then another sense kicked in, as he felt the dampness against his chest. "Trying to make out with my shirt, Eds?" He was smiling, amused by Eddie's attempt to conceal the fact that he'd been slobbering in his sleep. He gently pinched Eddie's chin between thumb and forefinger, pulling his face in close. "Let me get in on that," he said.

"Gross," Eddie said, but it was soft and low, and he, himself, moved forward the remaining distance to press a kiss to Richie's lips.

Hand moving up Eddie's jaw, and into his hair, Richie pressed, firm, into the kiss, before laying his head back down. Settling the side of Eddie's face into his chest again. "Hungry yet? Should I order pizza?"

Eddie pulled his lower lip between his teeth, hands coming up to rest at Richie's shoulders, before he asked, "I thought we were having grilled cheese sandwiches."

"Oh," Richie said, immediately laughing around the word, before he said, "Yeah. But... I thought that was more up ... Baby E's alley. If you think about it though, they're pretty much the same thing. Once you throw in tomato soup."

A small smile pressed at the sides of Eddie's mouth as he thought about it. "Kind of. Do you _have_ tomato soup?"

"Probably. It might be from 1991, though. Leftovers from Maggie's Wintry Condensed Soup Bender." He joked, of course. ...Hopefully. He was fairly certain there actually was expired food in the back of their pantry no one felt bothered to clean out, but there was probably at least one can of tomato that was still good. And Eddie'd probably gladly standby to throw out any expired shit Richie found while rummaging through the cupboards.

Eddie wrinkled his nose at the thought of bulging cans of soup, and his tummy churned at the thought, but... for some reason he was still very much up for grilled cheese over pizza. No matter how close Richie thought they were. Bread, cheese, tomato. He got it. But...

Playing with the seam along Richie's shoulder, Eddie huffed out a little breath and then said, "Should we go find out?"

Then Richie's hands were on his back, rubbing up and down once, before Richie squeezed Eddie to his chest. "Sure you don't wanna stay here forever, Eds?" Eddie smiled into Richie's shirt, where he buried his face just a little bit more, and closed his eyes, breathing Richie in, before hauling himself off, and out of Richie's grasp, and out the bedroom door.

"Think about it. If you stay, we can go grocery shopping together, and you can make sure we have all the staples you like," Richie said, following Eddie down the stairs, and into the kitchen. Eddie yanked open the first pantry door and began pulling cans forward, searching in the dark of the cabinet. Richie flipped the overhead lights on, and looked around for his parents, but no one was home. He shrugged to himself. More time for he and Eddie to freely be themselves? Great. Richie wasn't sure he could manage making more than two sandwiches anyway.

"We can go shopping, anyway, Richie. Well... we could, if we had extra money." Then Eddie sighed into the cans of food he'd brought forth, none of them turning up Campbell's, and turned to Richie. "I should get a job." He said it with finality, as though it was something he'd actually had time to consider. Which wasn't _really_ the case, Richie knew.

Richie smiled softly, moving forward to grab one of Eddie's hands. Then, once he had a good grip, he used it to propel Eddie around, and folded his chest over Eddie's back, staring over Eddie's shoulder at the cupboard. Vegetables and fruit. Soup must be lower... "If you want a job, and _only_ if you actually want it, I'll ask at work. Or... we can get a Penny Press paper and go over the classifieds?" He was a little worried about the strain of working side-by-side... He knew he could handle it. Eddie, he wasn't so sure of, however. As much as Eddie _said_ he wanted to spend time with Richie, work was - different. There were different responsibilities. Pressures. Anxieties.

Also, he was pretty sure that if Eddie got a job in the food industry, he might never be able to eat out again. "Besides... you already have a job, sometimes. When you fix things up? Which you actually _like_ doing."

Resting his head back on Richie's shoulder, Eddie sighed again. "Maybe I should print up a flyer or something. Make it official."

Biting into his lip, Richie smiled, then gave in and pressed a quick kiss to Eddie's jaw. "Now you're talkin'!" He smiled even more brightly when Eddie blushed at the praise, the proud tone of Richie's voice. Then he moved around Eddie and crouched to the floor, swinging open the second pantry door. It took just a moment for him to find an in-date can of soup, and Richie waved it at Eddie over his shoulder triumphantly, before setting it on the counter top.

"Babe," Richie started, pulling out a skillet, and switching on the burner to heat everything up while they assembled everything, "Butter, bread and cheese?" Then pulled out a microwavable bowl for the soup, and a can opener.

'Babe,' Eddie mouthed to himself, eyes crinkling at the corners, while he opened the fridge and brought everything in armfuls to the counter. He sat them down on one side of the oven, before walking back over to the other, leaning his elbow on the laminate counter top. "Rich," he said, nose scrunched up, and mouth tight, "You only have those gross, floppy cheese square things..."

Richie smirked, glancing over at the open package of plastic-wrapped cheese 'singles' that his mom had been buying since he was born, then back at Eddie. He lifted his hand to Eddie's cheek, and gave a gentle pinch-and-wiggle. "You're gonna be an expensive little devil to live with, aren't you?" His tone was mocking, and eyes creased in amusement. _Real_ cheese? Eddie expected him to have _real_ cheese?

Eddie smacked his hand away, and folded his arms across his chest. "It's not _that_ much more, if you buy the block and slice it yourself."

Leaning forward, Richie pressed a kiss to Eddie's forehead. "Pout all you want. It's fucking adorable. But scout's honor, it'll taste good. Especially when you dip it in your soup; you won't even know the difference."

"Shut up... I'm not pouting," Eddie said, rolling his eyes, and forcing his arms down to his sides, while Richie started buttering the bread on a plastic plate.

Richie just smiled, _Sure, you're not, Eds._ And then unwrapped the _ghastly_ processed cheese before throwing the whole kit-and-caboodle onto the skillet. "I can still order pizza if you want..." He looked to Eddie, who was bracing his hands backward on the edge of the counter. Eddie just looked at him from the corners of his eyes, warm, corner of his mouth slightly turned up, and then shook his head. "No?" Richie asked, leaning closer, smile still a smirk. The pan was sizzling, already hot when Richie put the sandwich on. Eddie supposed the Tozier oven ran a little warm.

At his house it was almost as if his mother had managed to mentally block the oven from ever reaching a decent temperature at a decent rate. It took _forever_ to boil water. "They got real cheese. Fancy stuff, the way you deserve," Richie needled. Eddie visibly bit into his lower lip, and shook his head again, cheeks growing plump in a smile. " _H_ okay... If you say so." Richie sighed, eyes sparkling even as he got a 'I'm not so sure about this decision...' look on his face. He pressed a kiss to the upper half of Eddie's forehead, finger playing over Eddie's pinky in soft brushes. "Gross grilled cheese it is. But don't say I never offered to spoil you."

With a soft smile, Eddie pushed his elbow out, having Richie give him enough space so that he could boost himself up. So that he could sit on the counter. Taller than Richie, now, as he stuck out his hand and pulled Richie between his legs. Richie's hands covered his kneecaps, fingers tickling at the edges as he pressed in, tested where the hardness of his knees gave way to soft thighs and calves. "I won't," Eddie said, sure despite his tone being soft. Eddie drew Richie's eyes to meet his own with a hand cradling Richie's cheek. "How am I gonna spoil _you_ , though? That's the real question."

In the first moments after Richie confessed that he had feelings for Eddie, Eddie'd been sure it'd be difficult to transition into a 'boyfriend' - to let himself be honest with Richie regarding his feelings. As it turned out, however, Richie made it easy. Not that Eddie was overflowing with verbal praise but, if Richie asked for it, Eddie found himself giving without thought. Desperate to meet Richie in the middle and have him understand that he and Eddie were equals in their feelings. It was unusual, and maybe a little unnerving, to say things like, 'I love you' and mean it. Not have it be cursory. Like with his mother.

Richie's smile remained as he kissed Eddie's lips, and muttered into them, "Your existence spoils me, Eds. My life would suck balls without you." He punctuated it with another kiss. A slow, gentle press of lips before moving to Eddie's neck, just above his collar bone.

"I love you," Eddie said, carding his fingers up into Richie's hair, up from his cheek. Chest full with a warm ache. It was a total cop-out, he knew. Knew he wanted to find a legitimate way to go above and beyond for Richie. But the sentiment was so sweet, he couldn't help but give into it for the moment.

One final kiss to Eddie's neck had Richie coming back up to meet his eyes. "Love you, too. In fact... I love you so much I think I might marry you."

Eddie licked out at his lower lip, smiling, "Hm... I think I heard that one today, already."

"Oh yeah? Well. Did I tell you I wanna have your baby?" Richie asked, game to play back and forth through tone, if Eddie was gonna act all bored and unimpressed by his declarations of love.

Below his eye, Eddie's cheek twitched, and then he was wrapping his hands around Richie's wrists, leaning forward with hooded eyes and a smirk. "Gee, Rich. I kind of already thought _I_ **was** your bab- Mm!" Eddie's eyebrows arched high, eyes closing upon the sudden impact of Richie's kiss. Purposeful, moving Eddie back with the force of it, until his head was threatening to hit the cupboard behind him. Cutting off his teasing words. Richie's hands moved up, gripping his hips tightly as he kissed into Eddie's mouth more. Drawing on the supply of air in their lungs until he finally broke enough contact to rest his forehead against Eddie's.

"You _are_ my baby. _No matter what_ ," Richie said, fierce, eyes closed. It made Eddie ache in different ways, in different places, made his eyes sting with how much Richie _meant_ it. How earnestly he had felt the need to _show_ Eddie that.

After swallowing harshly, all Eddie could do was hush Richie for a moment. Hand loosening in Richie's hair before stroking the side of his head, an attempt at being calming. "Jesus, babe... I know. I was just teas - Oh." Eddie stopped himself, nostrils flaring as something burned in the air. Eddie kissed the crown of Richie's head quickly, then said, "The grilled cheese is burning."

"Huh?" Richie said dumbly, arms looping around Eddie's waist as he held him close.

He hated to interrupt, would've been happy to wrap his legs around Richie's back and pull him up for more kisses. But. "The grilled cheese," Eddie said, enunciating so that he could draw Richie back.

"Oh, shit!" Richie said, moving all at once from Eddie's being so that he could flip it over with a spatula. Take in the damage. He grimaced at the sight before him. It was practically black, the whole side over. "This is your fault you know; this one is _yours_ ," Richie told him, matter of fact, before turning the burner down.

Quirking one brow, and subsequently one half of his mouth, Eddie said, "I bet I know a way to get you to change your tune." Richie would never feed a kid total char.

Richie glanced up at him, looking abhorred. "You _scoundrel_. Fine. I'll have this one."

Satisfied, Eddie leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Richie's cheek. " _Or_ we can take the burnt bread off, cut it and the other in half, and share." He was even more pleased when, for some reason, that called a blush to Richie's pale skin. Maybe his reaction, from before, was finally catching up to him. Eddie wondered...

"That'll be enough food for you?" Richie asked, tipping the sandwich over onto a plate when it was golden brown on the other side. Then he slapped another sandwich together and into the skillet as Eddie nodded and hopped down to get the tomato soup heating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because I've been writing this in my head for months and now I've gone crazy. This is really only half of what I intended, but I just need to release this into the wild.
> 
> Comments are amazing, but I know not everyone has time, or sometimes the writing doesn't feel like it warrants it. I get it. Better to keep quiet if you don't have anything nice to say. But if you do like it, any ol' thing is so nice to hear. I realize very few people are interested in this fic as it is and as I get more and more involved in certain aspects it'll probably eventually just be me, lol. So I mean... you CAN voice if I disappoint you, but the truth is that I pretty much know exactly where this fic will end up and it's probably not going to change even though maybe most people would say it should. Sorry for this note. Anxiety to the max. (Deserved.) [By the way, I don't mean that it'll get angsty or anything. Although I mean there's hiccups in life right? But they'll always be in love and faithful and gorgeous. I just mean sexually. People might be disappointed in that regard.]


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a content warning here: this chapter includes the first suggestion of sexual age play so if that's not your cup of tea, I highly suggest not reading passed the gap between the following lines:
> 
> ["Mhm."
> 
>  
> 
> Bikes parked outside the drugstore, Richie and Eddie entered the little shop, empty at this time of night, near closing.]
> 
> Although I absolutely will say, I hope if you're open-minded, the things Richie says will resonate with you. And maybe even if you think it's not your cup of tea, it might become something you're more understanding of to an extent? It's okay if not though. I respect that.

"See? I told you it'd taste fine..." Richie said, ankle pressed to Eddie's, as he looked over the empty plate and near-empty bowl of soup. His hand covered Eddie's on top of the dining room table, where he was sitting perpendicular to him. Pulling, Eddie from his chair, Richie watched as he put one foot up by his thigh, and then sat before him on the table, place mat et al pushed back. Before Eddie could speak, say that it could've been better, but that yes, it was 'fine', Richie was pressing his lips to Eddie's stomach saying, "Your tummy feel better, baby?" in this soft voice, before pressing in to rest his head there.

Eddie laughed under his breath, thumbing at the back-sides of Richie's neck as their arms circled around each other. "Richie," Eddie said, softly chastising, "I'm not ready to go back to that yet."

When Richie pulled back, it was with a tinge of pink on his cheeks, brows furrowed. "Wait... Was I -"

"A little," Eddie answered, petting at Richie's neck with his palm. He smiled as Richie's eyes darted to the side, face tightening even more as he self-analyzed. "It's okay though. It's not like I always get to fully appreciate how sweet you can be. It's cute," Eddie assured him, before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

The praise seemed to wipe away any reservations Richie had about the last few moments. Or at least temporarily shelved them until he could over-think it later while he was trying to sleep. A little smile formed on his face, and he asked, "Yeah?" Then the smile turned mischievous and before Eddie could question him, Richie had started pulling him forward with arms around his waist until Eddie was seated on his lap instead. He fell forward, bracing himself on Richie's shoulders for a softer landing.

Richie kissed him, before he had the chance to object, other than the slight indignant squeak he'd involuntarily let out on the way down from the table. Eddie couldn't hold it against him long, though, as Richie pressed his back into the edge of the table with soft, languid kisses. He let himself melt into them, into Richie's lap, with his knees at either side of Richie's hips.

"You're way too good at kissing for how long we've been dating," Eddie told him, breathlessly, as Richie finally relented. He was surprised it was any good at all, considering they'd just eaten. But he guessed it all came back to the fact that he'd been waiting to kiss Richie just about his whole fucking life. So maybe that was all it was.

"Aw, Eds... That's cute you've forgotten how often I get around town. I'm good at a lot more than just kissing, you know," Richie said with a devilish grin, eyebrows raised, and eyes challenging.

Huffing out a laugh, Eddie kissed the side of Richie's mouth, before leaning back, hands locked around Richie's neck. "You can have as much sex as you want, but now that we're together, I'd better be there too. Just to supervise, obviously. _I'm_ not getting any STDs."

Richie lifted the butt of his palm hitting his forehead with it, ' _Oh, of course!_ ' "Absolutely!" Richie agreed. "In fact, I have an appointment in like," Richie started, pulling Eddie's hand up from his shoulder so he could glance at the watch there, "Ten minutes. And you're gonna like it too, cause we can get a toothbrush for you. See, it's at your house, with this woman called Sonia. You're gonna love it when I stick my big, fat c-"

Eddie's palm landed firmly over Richie's mouth as he playfully glared him down. " _Or_ we could go to the drug store to pick up a few things and you can imagine the possibility of _ever_ getting to sleep with me."

At that, Richie nodded, behind Eddie's hand, and then pressed a kiss to the palm over his mouth. Eddie sighed, long-suffering. But it was full of adoration.

When Eddie shifted in his lap, hesitating over leaving its comforts now, or prolonging getting ready to leave Richie's house, he felt Richie's hands squeeze over his hips. Watched Richie's eyes dodge down to Eddie's abdomen, head lilting to the side as if in consideration. Calculation. Eddie's brow twitched in a question, but he gave Richie the time he needed to come out with it, unprompted. Richie bit into his lower lip, before finally looking into Eddie's eyes, face tight and serious. "I should workout so I can lift you."

It wasn't anything like Eddie was suspecting and the second he wrapped his brain around it, he felt breathless. A soft pang in his heart at the idea of it. The mental image of Richie getting Eddie's arms around his neck and propping Eddie's legs up at the small of his back. Of Richie carrying Eddie while he cradled his face into Richie's neck, arms a secure seat for Eddie's weight, his bunny squished safely between their chests. Richie rocking Eddie... and.

He supposed he hadn't really thought of it before, because Richie was Richie and he was beautifully petite in musculature. Almost brittle-boned in his looks. And Eddie loved him that way, truly. But he couldn't deny how it'd make him feel to have Richie be able to _hold_ him, suspended. Plus Eddie wasn't that heavy. Maybe Richie wouldn't have to get to the point where he could bare Eddie's weight for _long_ , either.

"You - you think you'd really want to?" Eddie asked, quietly searching Richie's eyes. He didn't want to pressure Richie. Didn't want to get ahead of himself, either. But he _was_ familiar with weight-lifting. Had enjoyed that part of P.E. the most, along with track. He'd gotten his own weight set after that discovery, and didn't lift regularly, necessarily, but enough that he'd remembered how not to strain himself. If Richie really wanted to... Eddie could be right there with him.

Richie got this slow-forming half-smile on his face as he took in the excitement beneath Eddie's careful words. "Yeah. I mean, not so much the working out part. But the lifting you up part would be kind of amazing. I. I should be able to." Well, not that he _should_ be able to. Lots of people probably couldn't pick up their kids for whatever reason. It didn't mean they weren't doing their jobs, doing their best. But - "I mean, I want to be able to, anyway. If I can," he said, finishing with a derisive little laugh. Like maybe he'd been ignoring his muscles so long they were permanently the size of peas.

"You can," Eddie assured him, before biting at the inside of his lip in reprimand of showing enthusiasm for the idea.

Despite Eddie's feelings on the matter, Richie's eyes lit up, and he smirked into the kiss he pressed to Eddie's mouth. "Okay, then I will." He guessed, anyway. He huffed out a breath after, eyes narrowing as he considered actually pushing himself to dedicate time to such an endeavor. "Can I -"

"Yes; use mine. I'll do it with you."

"Baby -"

"Sorry," Eddie breathed, rolling his eyes at himself before falling to rest his forehead on Richie's shoulder.

"For what?" Richie asked, a scoff clearly attached, before he leaned his temple into the side of Eddie's head. "I was just gonna say 'thank you.'" He wasn't. He was going to tell Eddie how cute he was being, but it was safer to save that for when Eddie was Little.

Safer... The word rang out in Richie's head, and made him smile to himself, a little smug, as he turned a kiss into Eddie's temple. He'd really won that one, hadn't he?

After all the years Eddie'd protested being called cute, and now Richie bet even if he threw it out at the worst of times now, he could wheedle any grumpiness right out of Eddie within moments. It wasn't like Eddie had any footing to deny it. Just because he could stand up to a magical psychopath and a more human one, to boot, didn't mean he wasn't cute doing it.

"You can be my coach," Richie added slowly, thumbing at the small of Eddie's back, "But give a guy a chance and try to lose some muscle, would ya?"

Eddie snorted at that, "Heck no." Then he cocked his mouth open, dragging his teeth across Richie's skin, slow and gentle, until his lips closed, wet, around Richie's neck in a kiss. Then said, voice slightly more rough, "Bet I can lift _you_. Wanna try?"

Breath hitching, Richie's brows dipped until he gained enough concentration to pull back and look Eddie in the eyes. "Okay first of all, you're a fucking tease. I only have so much self-control and I have told you about the biting thing -" His voice cut off at Eddie's answering smirk, feeling himself start to smile.

He shook his head, then, and said, "It's not fair that you know you can get away with literally anything. And _second_ of all, absolutely I'd like to try having you lift me, but only if you want me to pop a boner so hard I can't ride my bike for a few hours." And by then the pharmacy would be closed, and Eddie'd have to give in and go home. Well, if he wanted to brush his teeth. Richie'd tell him one night wouldn't hurt that much, but he didn't want a lecture on bacteria or whatever, so.

The way Eddie's palms came to rest against Richie's chest, then, eyelids dropping part way as he pressed a kiss of apology to the corner of Richie's mouth, had Richie's head spinning all over again. "Can you at least give me a daily limit?"

"A - for what?" Richie asked, licking out at his lower lip, eyes almost crossed as Eddie hovered close. Eddie seemed to sober up at that question a little, eyes darting away as he sat back, more weight going into where Richie had his hands braced. "Oh," Richie said, smug smile developing, "Kinky shit." If Eddie couldn't say it out loud, readily, then it had to be the teeth thing... His chest loosened, upon realizing that Eddie wasn't actually being a tease. He just _liked_ it, for himself. Then his eyes went warm, and he pushed the tip of his nose into Eddie's closest cheek. Breathing the words out along Eddie's jaw as he said, "If you like it, no limits. Unlimited pass, just for you. I didn't know, that's all..." he promised.

"Richie," Eddie said, voice sounding almost timid, as he looked down at Richie from under his lashes, face still turned, because Richie's was too close to allow movement.

"Yeah, baby?"

"I really am sorry. If it makes it hard to wait... I mean, it's hard for me, too. I don't even know what I'm waiting _for_."

Richie's eyebrows arched at that, and he slowly angled back so their eyes could meet. "Oh, sweetheart... Don't apologize for _that_. God's honest truth, I don't mind - I was joking about the self-control thing. For you? I have every ounce in the world. And besides, I'm not - I mean, I might be, but I don't really know, I guess, what being ready even means? So maybe I'm not either. But if you ever are. If some time the button just switches on, you just let me know. Five seconds, or five years from now."

Biting into his lip, Eddie searched Richie's face, for confirmation, and then let his eyes fall closed as he pressed their foreheads together. "Believe me; it's much closer to five seconds than five years."

Chuckling Richie tilted his neck so he could kiss at Eddie's mouth, soft and quick. "Well, either way, lift me up some other time?"

"Mhm."

Bikes parked outside the drugstore, Richie and Eddie entered the little shop, empty at this time of night, near closing. The sky indigo outside, and the streetlamps casting orange-yellow over the crags of the sidewalks, and potholes in the streets. They were lucky the druggist kept summer hours, because Eddie'd ended up pushing Richie to leave the house later and later, so that if his mother did decide to make any rounds before retiring for the evening, he was less likely to run into her. This was, after all, one of the few locations she regularly stopped at.

"Hey, hey, Eds, wait," Richie said, halting Eddie by his hand as they were passing the infant section, going toward the dental aisle.

Eddie turned to look at him, eyebrows raised slightly in question until he saw Richie looking longingly down the aisle Eddie, himself, had familiarized himself with. On occasion, short moments at a time. He licked out at his lips, giving a glance as he followed Richie's line of sight, before stepping toe-to-toe with him. "Richie," he whispered softly. "Not... not now, okay? Maybe -"

"Baby, _please_? If not now, when? There's no one else even here."

Turning his lips up to the side, Eddie studied Richie's face, then sighed. Richie's puppy-dog eyes were almost impossible to turn down. Eddie'd fought the good fight for nearly a decade, but a man had his limits. " _Fine_ ," he drawled, the reluctance in his face quickly fading as Richie's own expression lit up.

"Best boyfriend ever," Richie said, before pecking the tip of Eddie's nose and squeezing his hand again to draw him toward the center of the aisle, where the product stopped being only-diapers, and turned into other stuff, too. Baby lotions, shampoos, medicines, pacifiers, and more.

With a warm smile tugging at his lips, Eddie allowed himself to be situated in front of Richie, arms crossed against his chest so that Richie could lace their fingers together over his upper arms and press chest to Eddie's back. After a few moments of silence, Eddie cracked his mouth open, and huffed out, on a laugh, "What are we doing, exactly?"

"Mm..." Richie started tucking the side of his face in by Eddie's, "Just wondering if my budget would allow for getting one of everything."

Eddie's brows immediately furrowed at that, and he turned his head to look at Richie out of the side of his eyes, balking. "Uhm, no. Absolutely not, Rich. Not only are we not wasting money on stuff I don't need, but also? I've already... I've already bought too much stuff from here. He'll -" The pharmacist. Greta's _dad_ for Christ's sake - "He'll know something's going on or..." Swallowing as he watched Richie's face turn from self-proud, to something hovering over a pout, Eddie sunk back into Richie's chest, and tightened his fingers around Richie's. "Babe... C'mon. You know I can't be. Obvious about this."

"But you're so _pretty_ ," Richie said, nosing at Eddie's ear, as Eddie turned back to look at everything he most certainly _wanted_ but knew he couldn't have. Yet, anyway. He thought. "You can do anything you want; you could get away with murder. And this is absolutely _not_ murder. Please, baby? I don't have anything for you at my house. It _sucks_."

He didn't disagree with Richie, either. It would be great not to have to worry about packing up stuff just in case. He could also tell it'd make Richie feel better which... was sweet. So Eddie thought, quietly for a moment, eyes roving over what was in front of them, before finally lilting his head to the side. The idea that came to him wasn't a perfect solution, but he hoped it'd be a compromise that would satisfy.

"Well, I mean... we could get something less obvious. I think - I think they have some stickers in the art aisle." He... may have stopped by that section five seconds at a time, semi-frequently, too. In fact, he felt a little flutter in his chest at the suggestion of finally getting some. He hadn't yet, because they felt a little frivolous. A one-time use item. But maybe if they were at Richie's house... where Richie was watching him, then they could more easily be rationed out.

Although, that thought was almost laughable, considering Eddie felt he had more self-control than Richie, on a good day, even _when_ he was Little. Still, he was already sinking into the warmth provided by the idea of Richie decorating him in stickers for any and every reason, or pulling the stickers off the paper and handing them to Eddie to place anywhere his little heart so desired. And ... now that the path to making that a reality opened itself up, Eddie wasn't going to take it back. Even if he should.

At Eddie's suggestion, Richie's eyebrows had arched slightly. He didn't know why it surprised him, but - Jesus - it made heat run through his veins all the way down to his toes. How something so fucking sweet and innocent had come out of Eddie's mouth... Fucking _stickers_. His baby wanted _stickers_. Richie melted into Eddie's back slipping his arms down around Eddie's waist, and giving him a slow rock as he angled his mouth to Eddie's ear. His voice - it came out gruff, a little thick with honey, affectionate and maybe even a little bit desperate. Desperate to approve and reward and affirm. "You want stickers, baby?"

With the absence of Richie's hands to hold onto, along his upper half, Eddie's hands easily fell down to meet Richie's at his waist, instead. But that was as far as his brain could take him, once Richie's words were breathed, strained, into his ear. And then Eddie was freezing up, cheeks going warm and eyes a little glazed over and wide as the tone hit his brain, and then the words, colliding unexpectedly. Making his throat go dry.

Richie could feel the moment Eddie's brain stuttered. For just a moment he thought something fear-related had been triggered. But then he tilted his head enough to see the pink in Eddie's cheeks, and was reminded of their talk in the alcove. _Ah. Fuck. Okay._ Richie's eyes went darker in response, before he could process what he wanted to do. Then he was handling Eddie toward the restrooms and pressing him inside, up against the tile, the empty space of wall right beside the door.

"Okay. Lay it on me, Eds. Was it - the stickers?" Richie asked, once he had one of his legs between Eddie's, hands pressed up at the sides of Eddie's head, encasing him. His sweet boy, who was looking steadfast at the ground like he was ashamed of himself. Which, frankly, just wouldn't do. He pressed the tip of his nose to Eddie's as he asked, breath ragged until Eddie eyes turned up. Richie pulled back enough to be able to read the expression there - a _look_ consisting of protruding eyebrows and turned-down corners of his mouth. Richie laughed under his breath, somewhat uneasily. "Well, I don't know, baby. I'm just trying to figure out why... you're acting so fuckin' embarrassed about it. Not that you should be embarrassed if it _was_ the stickers, okay?"

" _Richie_ ," Eddie huffed face almost falling to something more sad before he quickly caught himself, expression hardening again.

"Hey," Richie said, low, taking Eddie's chin between thumb and finger to hold him there, "Don't give me that look. You listen here, Eddie Kaspbrak. You could decide to marry and/or hump a fuckin' rock and I'd still think, 'That's my Eds...! Isn't he cute?' Swear on my life, babe. I'd even carry a picture of you two in my wallet to proudly show off while on business trips."

It was at this point that Richie started smiling in triumph, seeing Eddie's eyes warm, face smoothing into something else as he bit back an incredulous but appreciative smile. "'Isn't my Eddie's capacity to love _amazing_?' Or, if you're just fuck buddies of course, 'Isn't my Eddie _sexy_ when he's making himself happy?' I love you. Got it?"

Eddie sighed, soft and a little dramatic as he leaned his forehead into Richie's chin, hands folding up in the front of Richie's shirt. "Thanks, but... it. It wasn't the stickers, okay?" Well. Sort of not... Eddie's cheeks began heating up again as he bit into his lower lip, glad he'd ducked down to where Richie couldn't see his face.

"C'mon Eds. Give a guy a break, here. I wanna know so I can stick it in my _arse_ **anal** for later. Which, P.S., if you're feelin' frisky I -"

" _Rich_."

Pausing, Richie pressed a kiss into Eddie's hair, and thumbed at the sides of his face. "Baby, please? Did it at least have something to do with me, or did you start fantasizing about something else in the middle of the drugstore while _I_ was holding you? Cause I'm pretty sure we have an agreement that you're supposed to tell me if that's the case. Right?"

Eddie pulled his hands out from the now wrinkled fabric at Richie's chest, and slid them around his back, pulling him close as he tipped his head back, ignoring the probable red splotches on his face in favor of reassuring Richie that no, he was not _already_ bored of him or ready to move on. "It was you, okay?" But once he'd gotten that out, looking into Richie's eyes, he tucked his face into Richie's neck and began, muffled by Richie's collar bone, "It - God, Rich, didn't you even hear your own fucking voice?"

Richie had started moving both hands down to hold Eddie by the small of his back, away from the wall. Then, as he started trying to comprehend what Eddie was saying, they began moving across the expanse of Eddie's back in slow circles, kneading just slightly. "My -?"

It was clear Richie didn't. Or... hadn't meant it to sound so... sultry. But it had. Eddie'd heard it, and, "This is so stupid; _please don't hate me_. But it sounded like you were talking to _me_ but also - _me_ , at the same time... If." Eddie broke off, sighing in frustration as he clenched his fists into the back of Richie's shirt, this time. Only, Richie's hands didn't stop drawing comfortingly up and down his back, like he'd maybe expected him to. "I'm _sorry_. I don't know _why_ that fucking -"

Then Richie hushed him, hands coming to Eddie's waist in order to push him back so he could look into Eddie's eyes, before cradling Eddie's jaw in one hand, while the other held him at his hip. "That makes sense to me," Richie said, soft and sure.

At Eddie's rising brows, and dropped-open mouth, Richie continued, "What, you think I don't see _all_ of you _all_ of the time? Eds... Of course I fuckin' do. You know, whatever. Whoever. _However_ you are, you're always still the fucking hottest, cutest person I'm ever gonna meet in my life. I didn't mean to... Blend that together so obviously, but I mean. What can I do? Every part of me loves every part of _you_. Which doesn't have to - _mean_ anything, but if you want it to. Someday... Like, shit, Eddie. That doesn't bother _me_ at all. _Okay_?"

Watching the remaining discomfort give way to awe in Eddie's eyes made Richie's chest ache with love and appreciation. But also set alight his desire to contradict any shame Eddie might feel at every turn. Maybe it was wrong to put someone on a pedestal; Richie knew that, deep down. But he couldn't fucking help it if it was damn near impossible to imagine an instance in which Eddie woudln't deserve every ounce of support he could get. "Kay?" Richie asked again, thumbing over Eddie's lower lip, breathing out his relief when Eddie nodded. Richie smiled around his next words, "Love you..." He was contemplating pasting Eddie and himself against the wall and nuzzling at Eddie's face for about an hour or two. But the store would be closing soon, and there was no way in hell Richie _wasn't_ having Eddie pick out his very favorite stickers to take home with them.

"Richie..." Eddie said, soft, pressing his forehead in to rub along Richie's collar bone again, walking them out from the wall and toward the door handle. "Love you, too."

"Good. I'm the luckiest guy in the world Eddie. Anything that makes you question that is wrong. Hm?" Richie asked pressing a kiss to Eddie's head as they maneuvered back out into the store. Awkwardly making their way to the toothbrush and toothpaste aisle with Eddie between Richie's legs, walking backwards. "- fucking in love with you, Eds."

"Me, too," Eddie breathed against Richie's chest, before finally turning to make his choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I finally finished this chapter godddd it took forEVER ;_; I hope someone likes it lmao.
> 
> Also, this series has hit 70k words now! :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ** _IMPORTANT_** : I POSTED THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER JUST MINUTES AGO, SO BE SURE YOU'VE READ THAT PART ^_^ THANK YOU ♥
> 
>  
> 
> I commissioned the following art piece from [elmobloop on Tumblr](elmobloop.tumblr.com) ages ago when I decided I wanted an alternate universe scene in which Richie's got enough strength in his arms for the following to occur. This takes place within the context of Chapter 2, wherein we read:
> 
> _Eddie's hand in Richie's, he began pulling Richie up, and toward (Richie presumed) the children's section. Not that he knew where it was. But he was apparently just excited to get his books. Which was all Richie could've ever asked for, really. Eddie happy and enthusiastic about being himself, and doing what he wanted, when he wanted._
> 
>   _Still, a chuckle slipped out of his mouth as he stood, Eddie gaining enough momentum to pull him a few steps forward, before Richie found his solid footing and pulled Eddie back saying, "Whoa, sweetheart! Hold on, we gotta get our backpacks." He squeezed Eddie's hand, then let it go to begin slipping the one pack over Eddie's shoulders. Little boy standing there with pink cheeks, letting his arms be thread through the straps. Richie ruffled his hair, then took his own and looped it over his shoulder by a single loop, before taking Eddie's hand back in his own. Fingers laced together, but not locked. Considering Eddie had to be able to reach for Richie's elbow if they ran into anyone._

Eddie's hand in Richie's, he began pulling Richie up, and toward (Richie presumed) the children's section. Not that he knew where it was. But he was apparently just excited to get his books. Which was all Richie could've ever asked for, really. Eddie happy and enthusiastic about being himself, and doing what he wanted, when he wanted.

Still, a chuckle slipped out of his mouth as he stood, Eddie gaining enough momentum to pull him a few steps forward, before Richie found his solid footing and pulled Eddie back saying, "Whoa, sweetheart! Hold on." As he pulled Eddie back towards himself, he had just a moment to see the adorable look so surprise slip onto Eddie's face before he made a split decision to let go of Eddie's hand and grab him up by the armpits. Eddie had enough forward motion that Richie was able to gather Eddie up easily, springing him upward, toward Richie's chest, with one arm at a time moving to brace Eddie around his lower body.

Once Eddie was securely pinned, middle to Richie's stomach, Eddie's little hands at Richie's shoulders, and a look of glee tearing through the shock, Richie drew the tip of his nose over Eddie's, smiling, with his eyes creased behind his thick glasses. "You forgot your bag, silly," Richie told him softly. Eyes squinted enough to not, initially, see that Eddie was growing warm in his hold.

A flood of happiness rushed through Eddie's chest, opening him up. A whole, pure wave of satisfaction that ate up all his needs at once and left him with so much joy the only thing he was left of was unadulterated love for the person who'd just provided it. Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie's neck, clinging tightly, as he started heaved out a breathless little sigh and then melded their lips together. Pouring out his appreciation, every ounce of love he felt he'd just received, plus every ounce he, himself, held for Richie, into a kiss.

Such a kiss, that Richie was caught off guard, lips still under Eddie's insistent mouth, just for a moment, before he relaxed into it. Ever going with the flow of things. Even as his brain tipped over into confusion, wondering if they were even still... Was Eddie even still Little anymore? Were they even staying at the library after this? Because, Jesus... "Eddie," Richie groaned into Eddie's lips, when they finally broke apart, foreheads pressed together and eyes cinched tight. "Baby... What."

"Sorry," Eddie breathed, before tilting his head to the side and burying his face in Richie's neck. "You... I didn't know you could lift me like that. I." It'd made him feel so genuinely small. So... light, and - "Sorry. I love you."

"Sweetheart..." Richie said, soft tightening his hold around Eddie's rear, "I love you too. Are you. Are we ...?"

"Yeah. I'll." Eddie swallowed. Right. Just for the moment he hadn't needed it. Because it'd been everything he could've ever asked for. All at once, like that. But that didn't mean he didn't want more of it. To keep going. To get his books and have Richie read to him and cuddle him and kiss him softly. If... that's what he wanted. "Just give me a second. Can... can you keep holding me for a second? I think that'll help." Help him grow small again. In fact, he was already feeling the pull in his chest, voice quieting. "Love you," he said, in a tiny voice, nosing at Richie's neck as he felt his body being squeezed close by Richie's long limbs.

"You got it, baby. Love you, too."

After a few quiet moments, Eddie going soft in his arms, and heavy like he was no longer carrying so much of his own weight at his core, Richie nuzzled the side of his head, and gently lowered him to the ground. Eddie was blushing, looking up at him sweetly as he let his eyes be exposed to the light again. "Ready?" Richie asked, as he squeezed Eddie's hand. At Eddie's nod, he let go to begin slipping the one pack over Eddie's shoulders. Little boy standing there with pink cheeks, letting his arms be thread through the straps. Richie ruffled his hair, then took his own and looped it over his shoulder by a single loop, before taking Eddie's hand back in his own. Fingers laced together, but not locked. Considering Eddie had to be able to reach for Richie's elbow if they ran into anyone.


End file.
